Puppy-saving human Redwood tree trunk The Rock dropped a beautiful blind item on Instagram yesterday when he went in on a chicken shit actor (or actors) who pissed him off more than seeing a number higher than 7% on a body fat calculator does. The Rock is finishing up shooting the 133,459th Fast & Furious movie, and in his goodbye note on Instagram, he praised his lady-co stars and also praised a few of his dude co-stars before taking an angry shit on unprofessional candy asses. And when The Rock shits on you, it leaves a bruise, because his turds have 12-packs and biceps.
The Rock said on Instagram that a certain nalgas azúcar (or maybe more than one nalgas azúcar) caused steam to shoot out of his orifices and made his veins throb with boiling blood. TMZ says that The Rock’s dragging of a candy ass has pissed off his co-stars, because they’re still shooting and have to deal with people asking them who he was talking about.
The Rock has a lot of restraint, because he could easily flatten a candy ass just by flinching real hard. I’ve copy + pasted The Rock’s blind item just in case he deletes it, which I doubt he will:
This is my final week of shooting #FastAndFurious8. There’s no other franchise that gets my blood boiling more than this one. An incredible hard working crew. UNIVERSAL has been great partners as well. My female co-stars are always amazing and I love ’em. My male co-stars however are a different story. Some conduct themselves as stand up men and true professionals, while others don’t. The ones that don’t are too chicken shit to do anything about it anyway. Candy asses. When you watch this movie next April and it seems like I’m not acting in some of these scenes and my blood is legit boiling – you’re right.
Bottom line is it’ll play great for the movie and fits this Hobbs character that’s embedded in my DNA extremely well. The producer in me is happy about this part. Final week on FAST 8 and I’ll finish strong. #IcemanCometh #F8 #ZeroToleranceForCandyAsses
The suspects are: Scott Eastwood, Vin Diesel, Jason Statham, Ludacris, Kurt Russell, Lucas Black and Tyrese Gibson. Clint Eastwood’s son seems like the likeliest chicken shit candy ass. Scott used “candy ass” in his interview with his pussy generation-hating dad, so maybe that was The Rock’s way of dropping a clue. But a couple of months ago, The Rock patted Scott on the gooch for being a “great dude.”
You bet and I’m currently on set shooting with his son (and great dude) Scott.
Clint Eastwood. https://t.co/E6iADW0Ccy
— Dwayne Johnson (@TheRock) June 17, 2016
Reader Joanne also pointed me toward an Instagram note that The Rock wrote after wrapping up on the 7th Fast & Furious movie. The Rock thanked the crew and added this little dig: “(a crew who’s had to practice great restraint daily on this production;).” That makes it seem like the “chicken shit candy ass” also worked on the last Fast & Furious movie, which means that Scott is out. That leaves: Vin Diesel, Jason Statham, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Lucas Black and Kurt Russell.
Kurt Russell has been in the game for centuries, so I’d take him out. TMZ’s sources say that The Rock wasn’t talking about Ludacris or Tyrese. That leaves Vin, Jason and Lucas. Whoever it is, I’m sure they broke the nerves of the rest of the cast too, including Helen Mirren who is in that shit. So, I’m surprised that we haven’t heard anything about how The Rock grabbed said candy ass after filming one day and held him down as Dame Helen Mirren kicked off her exquisite Lucite heels and prepared to handle a bitch.