This May Be The Most Hardcore Rock & Roll Thing That Has Ever Happened At A Coldplay Show

August 9, 2016 / Posted by:

I no longer think that Coldplay is about as edgy as a popped polo shirt collar on a suburban dad driving a bright green Camaro, because some hardcore shit went down at one of their shows over the weekend. It was more rock & roll than the time Chris Martin accidentally said a curse word during a backstage pep talk.

Coldplay played a show for SiriusXM at a bar called The Stephen Talkhouse in the Hamptons on Sunday and the place was filled with regulars who won a contest and famous tricks like Karlie Kloss, Goopy Paltrow, Sarah Jessica Parker, Beyonce, Jay-Z, Christie Brinkley, Jimmy Buffet, Harvey Weinstein, Calvin Klein, Jon Bon Jovi and professional shit stirrer/diet booze mogul Bethenny Frankel of The Real Drunk Mess of New York City. Since the Botoxed praying mantis seems to live her life like Bravo’s cameras are always on her, she caused a scene and committed a criminal act when she wasted the sweet nectar by throwing a cocktail at some chicks who annoyed her. That’s what Page Six says anyway.

A source says that Bethenny got messier than usual when three women blocked her view of the stage and refused to move for her royal bitch highness. The source claims that Bethenny screamed at them and when that didn’t work, she tried to pay a security guard to force them to move. When that didn’t work, she allegedly bought a drink and threw it at them. But a source close to Bethenny claims that  security kept telling the women to sit their asses down. The source also says that it wasn’t booze she threw at them, it was just some water:

“There were three women who were standing and blocking the view after being told multiple times by security to sit down, people were frustrated. It was a crush . . . and very hot. People were jockeying for a view. It looked like this woman, who vehemently refused to move, needed some cooling off . . . so Bethenny tossed some water on her.”

A different source claims that some innocent fancies were hit with splashes of water including Lisa Pevaroff-Cohn, who is married Gary Cohn, the president and COO of Goldman-Sachs. It’s a good thing that Bethenny’s ass is skinny enough to hide under a rock, because she’s going to need to do that since she’s fucked with the wife of a Goldman-Sachs boss.

But Beth-a-saurus denied Page Six’s story on Twatter today:

I don’t think she’s kidding about killing a man with her bare claws. She’s been known to do so when she spots a human with a plate of carbs.

Bethenny is a mess, so most of that story is probably true and if I was there, I’d stop watching Chris Martin yodel and turn around to take in Real Housewives of New York City: LIVE! You don’t want to miss the part where Bethenny unlocks her jaw and sucks in the souls of her victims. But really, my thoughts are with Goopy Paltrow right now. She probably put herself on a 2-week-long swan urine and starfruit seed cleanse to detox her body after it was exposed to Bethenny Frankel’s bougie trashiness.

And here’s pictures from June of the Terror of the Hamptons strolling with her maybe-fiancé Dennis Shields:


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