Night Crumbs

August 9, 2016 / Posted by:

Taylor Swift’s mop is curly again, and before I decide what that means, I need to read all the 500 think pieces that say she’s manipulating us to think that she’s still just a sweet, naive ole’ country girl who just fell off a turnip truck with a dream and a gee-tar – Lainey Gossip 

Jesus Jugs, formerly of The Real PlasticWives of Orange County, and her creepy husband must be making a killing in the trampoline business – Reality Tea

Anne Hathaway doesn’t want you to shame her post-baby body and current summer thighs –  Celebitchy

Blake NotSoLively doesn’t want you to praise her hot post-baby body – HuffPo

Here’s something I didn’t think I’d ever type in 2016: It’s Natalie Imbruglia! – Drunken Stepfather

Goopy Paltrow is either really tan in the face or she’s using dead and blended Oompa Loompa fetuses as a moisturizer – The Superficial 

Everyone keeps saying that Michael Phelps was making grade A bitchface, but it looked to me like he was prairie dogging bad and trying to hold it in – Towleroad

Lucy Pinder still exists – Hollywood  Tuna

JoJo Fletcher should’ve looked at Jordan Rodgers’ non-hard nips and said, “I’m erect. Why aren’t you erect?” – Popoholic

I’ve been wondering what my favorite genteel gold digging blossom of Sweden has been up to…. – Egotastic! 

You know your desperation has reached to new levels when you find yourself staring at the puckering bulge on The Fonz’s bronze statue – SOW

Hoda Kotb and Jenna Bush objectified the hot Olympian from Tonga by oiling up his body. How sad, desperate, embarrassing, pathetic and unprofessional of Hoda and Jenna. I wish I was them – OMG Blog

I can almost hear the sound of the air leaking out of Iggy Azalea’s beach balloon ass as she sits on that hard ground – IDLYITW

Something you’ve never heard before: Taylor Swift wrote a song about one of her contract boyfriends – Popsugar

In news you saw coming from a mile (which happens to be the length of John’s tenhead) away, John Mellencamp and Christie Brinkley are no longer doing it – Just Jared


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