Brian Austin Green has two reasons to celebrate today. Dude is a father for the fourth time, and Megan Fox’s womb is free for him to wet hump another ATM baby into during make-up sex after she threatens him with divorce again. David Silver has truly come along way.
Megan and BAG were planning to get a divorce last year, but they never stopped living together and eventually made another baby. The divorce is now off. E! News says that Megan birthed out their third baby last Thursday. Megan had another boy, and she and BAG did not disappoint when it came to naming him.
It sounds like when they were deciding what to name their newest kid, they passed around a celebratory post-birth joint while listening to “Don’t Stop Believing’” and watching a River Phoenix movie on mute. Because they named their son:
JOURNEY RIVER GREEN!
I promise I’m not stoned and I still love it. Journey River Green sounds like the name of an Enya album made up entirely of her take on Irish folk songs. Journey River Green also sounds like the name of a Northern California whitewater rafting tour company that gets you baked before you hit the river.
Megan and BAG’s other two sons are named Noah Shannon (he’s 3) and Bodhi Ransom (he’s 2). So, at least Bodhi Ransom isn’t the only Fox-Green son who has a name like a surfer/bounty hunter.
When Megan was knocked up with Journey River Green, she went on Jimmy Kimmel Live! and said that she believes her newest son is a super genius and sends her telepathic messages from the womb. Megan thinks that Journey River Green told her to move houses. Hmmm, well if that’s true and Megan and BAG came up with his name while he was still in the womb, then there must’ve been a faulty connection when he telepathically sent her a message that said, “Please, please, please don’t give me a name that sounds like the stage name of a new-age singer in a Hawaiian dive bar.”