No, The Terrifying Lucy Statue Has Not Been “Replaced”

August 8, 2016 / Posted by:

Since 2009, the Lucille Ball Memorial Park in her hometown of Celoron, NY has been free of birds, squirrels, dogs, cats, bees, flies, mosquitos, bunnies and humans not possessed by the devil and it was all because of a horrifying statue of her. No living thing dared to go near it. Over the weekend I saw headline after headline saying that the statue had been “replaced” and I thought that the Lucille Ball Memorial park must now be full of life, butterflies and sunshine again since that soul-murdering Lucy statue is gone. But it’s not gone. It continues to induce night terrors!

The original Lucy statue was sculpted by Dave Poulin and as a Lucille Ball statue, it’s a fail. But as a statue of a methed-out zombie Conway Twitty in Betty Draper drag, it’s a win! The people of Celoron have been screaming for years for that statue to be dragged far away and buried in a lot where a Walmart was about to be built. That is the best way to dispose of evil, because not even dark-sided spirits will go into a Walmart.

Last year, their screams were heard by the media and the story of the Scary Lucy statue went everywhere. Mayor Scott Schrecengost said at the time that it would cost thousands upon thousands of dollars to redo the statue and he refused to use taxpayers money. A fund was set up instead, and I guess they raised the money. But instead of getting Dave Poulin to redo the statue, a committee commissioned sculptor Carolyn Palmer to make a kindler and gentler Lucille Ball statue.

CNN says that on August 6, 2016, which would’ve been Lucy’s 105th birthday, the mayor showed off the new statue of their hometown hero and it looks like this:


The new statue is giving me “Botoxed and face-lifted Debra Messing.” The people love it, though. But their wish to have Scary Lucy banished from their town is not going to come true. Mayor Scott says that it’s become a tourist attraction and it’s staying at the park with the new Lucille Ball statue:

“We left it here because it has been such an attraction. We’ve had thousands of people here over the past year from all over. We had a family here just last week from Hungary that was in New York and traveled an extra distance just to see that statue itself, not knowing that we had a new one coming. Even though the other statue is called ‘Scary Lucy’ or ‘Ugly Lucy,’ whatever the people want to call it, it’s still artwork and not all artwork is beautiful.”
Hmmm… Why do I have a feeling that the “Nice Lucy” statue is suddenly going to go missing and the “Scary Lucy” statue will suddenly have a piece of a polka dot dress hanging out of the side of its mouth?

Pics: AP

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