Butt & Fuchs, my favorite members of my new favorite Olympic men’s field hockey team!
We’re only a few days into the Olympics, but it has already given us a couple of beautiful gay gifts. First, it gave us the glistening sight of a topless Pita Taufatofua holding onto his hard pole while looking like he just took a shower in the locker room of the Scientology bath house. (Yes, lube comes out of the showers in the locker room at the Scientology bath house.) And on Saturday, it gave us another magical moment when two members of Germany’s men’s field hockey team, Linus Butt and Florian Fuchs, stood next to each other and spelled out the WiFi password in the Scientology’s bath house. I can hear you German speakers saying, “Err, ‘fuchs’ means ‘fox.‘” Shüt üp! Do not break the butt fuch-induced boner some of us got from that screen shot. Although, “butt fox” brings on the 6th grader giggles too.
That moment also made me thankful for paying attention in the 3rd grade. Grade school math finally paid off! Because 3 times 23 is 69! This week is going to be really busy for me, because I’m going to spend all my free time trying to change the username of all my accounts to ButtFuchs69. I haven’t lived until I’ve proudly said, “It’s ButtFuchs69,” to a customer service rep after they ask me for my username.
And here’s a couple of pictures of my favorite field hockey players, Butt & Fuchs, in action. (Side note: Butt & Fuchs sounds like the most honest law firm name ever. “At Butt & Fuchs, we’re honest about how our billing department is going to butt fuck all the money out of you.”)
Saturday’s match ended with Germany really giving it to Canada and they won 6-2. They play the Netherlands on Friday. I really hope that during that match, the camera gets a shot of Butt & Fuchs’ teammates, Weiner & Ströker, standing next to each other.
Pics: Reddit, Getty (For Paul, Ami, Rick and D)