The endless back and forth that is clearance Hunter S. Thompson impersonator Johnny Depp and Amber “SCUM” Heard’s divorce proceedings inched further along yesterday. Amber finally showed up to her restraining order deposition. One and a half hours late! Thank you, TMZ, for playing that Drew Carey’s Mimi-looking former co-worker of mine who, having noted someone taking their seat one minute late, would immediately fire off a self-righteous narc-mail to the CEO. That screamingly loud print-wearing witch who gave HERSELF the nickname of “The Enforcer!”
Heard, who is currently filming her role as Aquaman’s wife in Justice League in London, arrived at famed marriage-sunderer Laura Wasser’s law offices at 11:30 AM yesterday using a private entrance. That worked (see below). Amber was dressed for distress in her most Sister Mary Schoolteacher blouse.
Let’s recap. Amber received a temporary restraining order against Freddy Krueger’s most famous victim immediately after she filed for divorce back in May. Amber has claimed that Depp physically abused her during their marriage. According to People, this deposition has been scheduled and rescheduled multiple times despite Amber saying that Johnny is trying to stall the divorce. Oil Slick Johnny’s legal people are claiming that Amber is lying about her ex-hobo tuning up on her because she’s seeking vast sums of cash. Amber’s camp have shown their receipts with a People cover story featuring a bruised Amber. Oh, and Depp’s team wants to make sure that no one finds out what he makes for starring in a cinematic autopsy like Mordecai. Have we covered everything? Has anyone gotten a quote from Pistol and Boo, the real victims here?
TMZ speculates that Amber will be asked to give details of the alleged abuse, as well as the deets on her financial demands. The marriage only lasted a year and three months and most of that time was taken up by that weird Australian dog smuggling scandal.
Johnny just wants it all to stop so he can get back to thinking he was meant to be a rock star and not an overly accessorized boho eccentric actor.
“It’s a very sad situation for him,” the source said. “He feels stressed about all the Amber drama … He never anticipated getting a divorce. He just wants it all the be over and move on.”
Who knows what’s what. All I know is – how does Black Widow not have her own flick but Aquaman’s wife Mera is already getting featured in movies? She wears a bodysuit made out of seaweed and throws water balls. Stop.