Jenna Jameson really needs to learn that if you want people to look at your baby bump, you really need to choose a less-distracting room to take your pregnancy selfie in. That picture is like an I Spy book page on steroids. I spy…an unmade bed…a glittery stripper heel perched on a tower of sunglasses….an arbitrary window…an electronic scale…a cow skull that looks as though it’s thinking “Jesus Jenna, would it kill you to tidy up first?”
Yesterday, Jenna announced on Instagram that she’s pregnant with her third child.
I have made many, many jokes in the past about the current fame whore tradition of Clearblue-sponsored baby announcements (#ClearblueConfirmed #Blessed #CanIHaveTheMoneyNow?). So I was a little surprised to see Jenna announce her pregnancy in what appears to be a baby boutique. Where’s the raunchy picture of Jenna posing with the still-wet Clearblue pee stick balancing on her tits?
Jenna tells People that the father is her fiancé Lior Bitton.
I wasn’t sure how excited I should be getting for Jenna’s pregnancy, since it’s not exactly a secret that her life has kind of been a disaster the past few years. In 2010, the father of her twins, Tito Ortiz, accused her of being a pilled-up abusive mess. Then she was arrested for DUI in 2012. In 2014, Tito was granted full custody of their 7-year-old twin sons, Jesse and Journey.
But according to Jenna’s Instagram page, she might have fought some of her demons. As of last week, Jenna has allegedly been 10 months sober. She also has a healthy-looking dog that doesn’t seem like he spends his spare time trolling Craigslist for new families, so that’s also good. I’m willing to give Jenna the benefit of the doubt here. Maaaaaaaybe this is a New Jenna? But just in case Old Jenna comes back, I’m putting my faith in her dog. A side-eye from a dog can sometimes be the most powerful guilt trip needed to keep you on the straight and narrow.