After two weeks worth of drama about Taylor with the scaly skin, I’m almost happy to welcome back a story about Becky with the good hair. Shortly after Beyonce maybe called out her husband’s maybe-sidepiece in Lemonade, The Beyhive wasted no time in attacking everyone they thought was Becky. The first person they came for was Rachel Roy, who faced their wrath after posting a cryptic message about good hair and #nodramaqueens on Instagram. The Beyhive attacked her Wikipedia page and her social media accounts. They might have also attacked her email and iCloud, which has prompted an investigation by the LAPD.
A few weeks after The Beyhive swarmed Rachel, she noticed that a bunch of private information, like emails, had been stolen from her computer. Naturally, I assumed the culprit was someone in a bedazzled House of Dereon ski mask that had snuck into her office while Rachel was out buying a new hairbrush, or maybe Sia being forced to do some dirty work as punishment for not writing songs fast enough. But Rachel believes something much more nefarious and sneaky happened, and the person or persons responsible smell like beeswax and honey. According to documents obtained by TMZ, Rachel called the LAPD and reported that her email and iCloud had been hacked, and that her cellphone number had been changed.
Rachel makes it pretty clear in the documents she filed with the LAPD that they should probably start their search in the Beyhive. TMZ says they’re not exactly doubting her theory either; apparently they believe the suspect/suspects responsible are Beyhive members. So far, the LAPD has allegedly obtained search warrants for phone and email records. Anyone who has ever texted or Tweeted the words “I WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR MY QUEEN” followed by a dozen bee emojis is no doubt very nervous right now.
Although maybe they’re not? I haven’t ever read the official Beyhive Handbook, but I’m sure the very first rule is something about absolute loyalty to her majesty Beyonce. So I probably shouldn’t be surprised if they don’t even deny it after the LAPD arrests their email-hacking ass. “Your honor, I would like to plead guilté. Whether it be spending 98% of my savings on concert tickets and Beyonce-approved merchandise, or seeking retribution against her enemies, loyalté is the most important trait a bee can show its queen.”
Here’s the queen of the Beyhive working some casual tits-out weekend wear in Monaco with a Gilligan-looking Jay Z and Blue Ivy yesterday.