Ryan Lochte (aka the human form of a panting Golden Retriever wearing a bandana) dyed his hair “light blue” for the Olympics in Rio. It looks more like a shade of silver fox to me, and I was going to ask if the carpet matches the drapes. But Ryan strikes me as the kind of dude who has hardwood floor instead of carpet, because he shaves so that his down low part looks bigger in pics he sends to chicks on Tinder. And jeeeeeeeaaah, I still would. – Jezebel
Mel Gibson is back with some Oscar bait, and this one doesn’t look as riveting as that movie where he fisted a beaver – Lainey Gossip
The CDC has just issued a high alert because Pauly D and Aubrey O’Day are both now single again (only it doesn’t seem like she knows it yet) – Reality Tea
Constance Wu shat all over that Matt Damon movie about the Great Wall of China – Celebitchy
The New York Post posted old (and seen before) naked pictures of a Lucy Lawless-looking Melania Trump and I guess they’re supposed to be shocking. But they’re about as shocking as Donald Trump’s poll numbers going up after he spits out another stupid dingle – Drunken Stepfather
Lindsay Lohan’s freckled chest dumpling tried to escape from the pain of getting suffocated by her swimsuit – The Superficial
FYI: Lea Michele’s tattooed tribute to Cory Monteith is on her nalgas – Egotastic!
Things I looked at for a good 15 seconds today: Bella Hadid’s camel toe seam – Popoholic
Netflix renewed everything – Pajiba
Christina Grimmie’s fans aren’t happy that the Teen Choice Awards didn’t properly pay tribute to her – IDLYITW
This boy needs to teach a master class at Barbizon on how to set fire to the runaway! – OMG Blog
I see that Julia Roberts’ Pretty Woman wig found a new home decades later on Amber Rose’s head – Hollywood Tuna
Sharon Stone has still got it – HuffPo
The Girlfriend Experience (aka that show where Elvis‘ granddaughter does a Kristen Stewart impersonation) is getting a second season – Just Jared
The hot shark from Shark Tank (I can feel your judgements and I no care) got married to Kym Johnson from Dancing with the Has-Beens – Popsugar
Note: The CAPTION THIS Contest is hungover (like me!) and will be back tomorrow.