Okay, so I have some good news and some bad news. Let’s start with the bad news first. The bad news is that latest film resting comfortably on the nostalgia lanai in your memory to get violently kicked off its wicker chair and forced into a remake is the 1984 film Splash. The good news is that this new Splash will be a gender-swapped remake starring dopey hunk Channing Tatum as Madison the Mermaid. Remakes usually give me a not-great feeling in the pit of my stomach, but not this time. A topless and constantly-wet Channing Tatum in a mermaid tail gawking around New York City for two hours? I am 100% on board for this.
Deadline says Disney has decided to go ahead with a “re-imagining” of Splash, the details of which came together on Friday night. Opposite Channing Tatum’s hot merman will be Jillian Bell (aka Jillian from Workaholics) in the Tom Hanks role. This new Splash, which should obviously be called Sploosh (ie. the sound that the audience will make the first time Channing Tatum does some hot underwater merman stripper moves) was pitched to Disney by Jillian Bell, who worked with Channing on 22 Jump Street. Just like the original Splash, Deadline says this one will also be produced by Ron Howard and Brian Grazer.
In the event you’ve never seen Splash, or the incredibly budget Splash, Too – it’s about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid when he’s a kid vacationing in Cape Cod and then hooks up with her when they’re both older. Mermaid-lover also has a brother, who was played by John Candy in the original. So don’t be surprised if in this version, Channing also has a merman brother played by Jonah Hill. As for where Jillian’s character meets Merchanning, that’s definitely not going to happen in Cape Cod. A fish that looks like Channing Tatum definitely lives somewhere on the Jersey Shore.
Pic: Touchstone Pictures, Wenn.com