Jinger Duggar And Her Courtin’ Partner Aren’t Wasting Time

July 26, 2016 / Posted by:

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar’s fourth-oldest daughter Jinger Duggar is only 22 years old, but in Duggar years that’s practically ancient. She’s only got a few more years before her uterus shrivels up and lays back in a rocking chair to watch Matlock reruns while trying to open up hard candies. So Jinger better git on that, and she is!

Jinger (which is Duggar for “Ginger“) and 28-year-old one-time pro soccer player turned wannabe minister Jeremy Vuolo announced last May that they were getting into a ton of hot and heavy side-hugging with each other. They declared through People that they were officially courting in June, and it looks like they’re past the phase where they awkwardly share a milkshake in a diner booth as their chaperone Jim Bob drools while staring at them with the creepy orbs in his sockets. Jinger, Jeremy, Jim Bob and Michelle announced that a new Duggar baby popping machine is about to be christened:

“What a joy for us to announce that Jeremy and Jinger are now engaged to be married! Wow, where did the time go? Sweet little Jinger is now grown up and engaged! We are so happy for them both. Above all, we are so grateful for their love and commitment to Christ. We are so excited about another Duggar wedding! We know that wonderful days are ahead for Jinger and Jeremy and we are looking forward to every moment! Our entire family rejoices!” – Michelle & Jim Bob

“We are overjoyed to be engaged! It was a beautiful moment and we look forward to a lifetime together. We are so grateful for how the Lord has brought us together. It has been a beautiful and incredible journey so far and we are excited about serving Christ together in the days ahead.” – Jinger and Jeremy

Since the Duggars are the Quiverfull version of the Kartrashians, they also pimped out the news in a promo for their TLC show. Jinger Duggar always looks like she’s silently screaming for help with her eyes. So I was about to pull out a Morse Code book to see if  Jinger’s saying, “Ayudame!” through her eye blinks, but then Jeremy committed an unlawful sin!

OVER THE MOON?!!!!?

I already have to deal with famous types terrorizing my eyes by using “over the moon” in birth announcements, and now they’re using it in engagement announcements too?! The Duggars claim they’re mega Christians, but they’re not. I doubt they’ve even read the bible, because if they did, they would’ve read this:

Do not say “over the moon” in a public engagement announcement; that is detestable. – Leviticus 18:20-something

Those heathens!

Pic: Instagram

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