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July 20, 2016 / Posted by:

Tiffany Trump’s contribution to the music world “Like a Bird“!

All week at the Republican National Convention, Donald Trump’s spawn has been earning their trust fund by burping up words of praise for the half-digested cheese curd. Last night, it was his second youngest’s turn. 22-year-old Tiffany looks like an early-80s actress who was so close to landing the role of Chrissy Snow’s other cousin Cammy Snow before Three’s Company was canceled. What I’m saying is that if I had to choose a favorite Trump, Tiffany would be it.

Malia Obama’s fourth grade teacher hasn’t come out to say that Tiffany Trump’s speech sounded a lot like the paper Malia wrote about her family, so based on that, I’d say that Tiffany nailed it. While sounding like Miley Cyrus doing her “job interview” voice, Tiffany didn’t really get into political shit. She mostly spilled out “stories” about her dad like how he used to add nice notes to all of the report cards she still keeps, was the first to call her when someone close to her died and was the kind of hands-on dad who measured her chest for her first bra. (Okay, she didn’t say that last part.) Like I said, Tiffany didn’t really get into politics and told several old stories about her dad, so her speech felt more like a eulogy. If that was Tiffany’s way of saying that her daddy’s campaign is almost dead, well played, Tiffany!

Because of Tiffany Trump’s grand debut on a NATIONAL STAGE yesterday, many pulled out her one (and so far only) gift to the world of art. Like many children of rich, famous bitches, Tiffany dabbled in music and in 2011, she released “Like a Bird,” which sadly isn’t a cover of “I’m Like A Bird.” Tiffany did the song with Sprite and Logic (who are surprisingly, not lost Teletubbies) and its lyrics are pure pop poetry:

I see you like that spot above.
Crawling through the liquid love.
You’re cute and you’re tweeting me!
Baby you go “Beep, beep, beep!”

It’s the kind of lyrics that Taylor Swift would write if Taylor Swift hit puberty. And here’s Tiffany’s musical masterpiece in all its auto-tuned dream pop glory:

The RNC would’ve been for nothing if Tiffany Trump doesn’t close that bitch with this song of the summer!

Pic: Amazon

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