And yes, I’m as good at Photoshop as Melania Trump is at delivering an original speech.
Why do I have a feeling that yesterday afternoon, Taylor Swift sent an untraceable e-mail to her secret friend Melania Trump, telling her down low squad member that she wrote a passionate speech that is perfect for the Republican National Convention. Tay Tay sent the Slovenian jewel a plagiarized speech, because she knew that the media would pounce all over that and temporarily forget about the Kimye disaster. That mega demonic Nellie Olesen will destroy anyone to protect her image!
Melania Trump was the marquee headliner of night 1 of the RNC, and honestly, she should’ve just slowly sashayed onto the stage in a devastatingly gorgeous sequined gown and then silently emoted and smoldered for a good 5 seconds before slowly sashaying off the stage. That’s all she needed to do to win the hearts of America! But Melania decided to give a speech instead. Bad move. Caitlyn Jenner’s plastic surgeon idol spoke for over 15 minutes and afterward, many slow clapped for her. But then journalist Jarrett Hill was filled with deja vu and realized that Melania’s speech sounded familiar to his ears because he heard pieces of it when Michelle Obama spoke at the Democratic National Convention in 2008. Melania was accused of delivering a Slovenian Blossom remix of Michelle Obama’s DNC speech.
Melania repeated one section of the First Lady’s speech, and here’s the side-by-side in case you haven’t already heard and seen it a billion times since last night:
Before Melania Lady CaCa’d Michelle Obama, she told Matt Lauer that she wrote it herself with just a “little” help. Yeah, a little help from the “⌘+c” and “⌘+v” key commands. But Donald Trump’s campaign later said that Melania had help from a team of writers:
I’m a little disappointed that the Trump camp didn’t shit up this response:
“Look at all these haters surrounding me every day, hatin on a baller but they can’t stop my pay! Stop all the hatin I can’t take it no more. I’m just tryin to get mine, you best get yours. So what you hatin for?” – an original statement written by Melania Trump
Trump’s campaign manager also blamed Hillary Clinton:
“There’s no cribbing of Michelle Obama’s speech. These were common words and values, that she cares about her family, things like that. I mean, she was speaking in front of 35 million people last night. She knew that. To think that she would be cribbing Michelle Obama’s words is crazy. This is once again an example of when a woman threatens Hillary Clinton, how she seeks out to demean her and take her down.”
The damage has already been done. Everyone’s roasting Melania’s ass and the hashtag #FamousMelaniaTrumpQuotes has been trending all night and morning.
I blame Donald Trump. Trump should butt fuck himself with a cactus for this. If he never ran for president, Melania wouldn’t have to say more words than, “Put it on my husband’s account, darling,” and she definitely wouldn’t have to speak in front of millions of people on a national stage. She doesn’t need this crap. I’m guessing that Melania would rather be in her golden sky palace, bathing in diamonds while admiring her beauty in a platinum mirror held by her maid. When Jabba the Trump sends all of Melania’s speech writers to the guillotine, he should chop up their prenup too as a gift to her for all she’s done. This goes above and beyond her job description!
With that being said, it was still a magical speech and that’s solely because of the Rickroll that was dropped in there:
Impeccable composite: Getty, Wenn.com