Earlier today, I saw this headline:
There’s not many words in that headline, but there’s still 55 layers of raw fuckery to unpack. Normally, I’d think that The Onion has lost it and is getting way too crazy with their headlines. But since this entire election has spit up load after load of WTFness, I knew it was real. And it is.
Omarosa was fired by Donald Trump three times (once on The Apprentice and twice on The Celebrity Apprentice), but recently, she heard the words “you’re hired” come out of the mutated circus peanut’s mouth. Omarosa, who honestly has more political experience than Trump, told MSNBC (via Politico) today that she is now the Director of African-American Outreach in his campaign. Omarosa said that she was already Vice Chair of the National Diversity Coalition for Jabba the Trump, so she kind of got a promotion. Trump is currently polling at a whopping 0% with black people in Ohio and Pennsylvania, so Omarosa needs a miracle. But Omarosa is farting on those numbers, because she just spent time with 300 African Americans who love Trump. (Cut to Omarosa speaking to a room full of 300 cardboard cutouts of smiling African Americans.)
“I just spent an amazing weekend with African Americans for Trump, about 300 of them. I’m just wondering who they called because those numbers would be flawed according to the people who have come out to support, had an amazing faith-based service yet with African-Americans who support Donald Trump, had an amazing reception yesterday evening with African-Americans who support Trump. So I look at the data, but my reality is that I’m surrounded by people who to want see Donald Trump as the next president of the United States, who are African-American.
More importantly, our community, you know, I grew up Youngstown, Ohio, 40 minutes down the road, economically we’re suffering. We’re hurting. I went to my family reunion this weekend, and I know family members who are still unemployed who are still looking for jobs. Looking for ways to fill their gas tank and fill prescriptions for their family. Donald Trump is focused on improving the economic conditions of African-Americans in this country, … because let me tell you, unemployment in African-American communities is at an all-time high. And particularly in Youngstown where I grew up, it is at its highest that we’ve seen. This is after seven years of the Democratic administration.”
My thoughts about this mess are best expressed through this picture of Omarosa’s arch rival, the perfect La Toya Jackson:
And the way shit has been going, I will not be surprised if Apprentice loser, murphy bed mogul and grade A dumb fuck, Jennifer Murphy, is named Trump’s Director of Asian-American Outreach: