The Glamour Gals!
Kenner was a toy company whose biggest hit was their line of Star Wars action figures that came out in the 70s and 80s. Action figures were their thing, so in the 80s, they decided to compete with Barbie by giving birth to Kevin Hart-sized (aka action figure-sized) dolls that wore stunning fashions, lived luxurious lives and dripped with glamour, while giving the same face (no, really, they all had the same face). Kenner called them the “Glamour Gals Collection” and even though they were the size a Bumblebee Bat’s clit, they exuded four hundred tons of potent and pure glam-oooooor. Each doll had a name and came dressed in an ensemble that was Sheila E.’s classic “The Glamorous Life” in fashion form. Kenner also made accessories for the Glamour Gals including this luxurious ocean liner that took them to exotic locales (read: the kiddie pool in the backyard).
Toy stores became much less glamorous sometime in the 80s when Kenner eventually got rid of the Glamour Gals. That was a damn shame for us lovers of glamour. And it was really a damn shame for Tommy Cruise. One of those Glamour Dolls would’ve made the perfect wife for him. They’re empty on the inside, will go wherever he drags them and they’re only a teeny tiny bit taller than him when wearing heels.
And here’s a Glamour Gals commercial, which I thought starred Victoria Principal, from 1981:
Is that offer still valid, because I need Jessie (in fancy formal) in my life!