Hot Slut Of The Day!
Penny, the pussy who tried to escape by stowing away in a UPS box!
Technology is good for all sorts of shit like looking for quick ass, finding someone to drive your drunk ass home and helping us get a laugh (see: me HAHAHAing at the kids yesterday at the airport bumping into trash cans and crap while playing Pokemon Go.) But sometimes, technology can screw with a trick’s life plans, like running off to join the alliance of overlord cats who will one day rule us humans (and honestly, that day can’t come soon enough).
People (via Jezebel) says that Penny’s human, Margaret, was at her job last week when she got a notification from the pay app Whistle, letting her know that her cat was outside of the “designated safe zone” she set up. Whistle is a GPS device that you put on your pet so that you can track their every move and they can never ever escape from you!!! You know Taylor Swift makes Tom Hiddleston wear one. But seriously, Margaret started tracking Penny and noticed that she was going pretty damn fast. Either Penny had snorted Cheetah blood mixed with speed and was running like she’s never run before, or she was in a getaway car. Margaret told her boss that she needed to track down her escaped pussy and she left work. Margaret followed Penny’s signal which took her to a UPS truck. Like most pusses, Penny likes boxes, so Margaret figured she crawled into one.
Margaret got the UPS truck to pull over and explained the situation to the delivery person. The UPS driver let Margaret search the truck, but she came up Penny-less. So she went back home and called up Whistle who confirmed that Penny was probably on that UPS truck. Just when she was about to chase after the UPS truck again, the driver came back with Penny, the El Chapo of pussies (let’s just call her El Centavo). The driver found Penny in one of the boxes and that cat’s escape plot was FOILED!
Margaret was about to set out to track down the driver once more, when she realized Penny’s signal was heading in the direction of home. Soon after, the UPS truck appeared with Penny inside. The driver explained she found the cat stuck in a box, where she was unable to claw out. Both of the women were happy to see Penny back at home and off the delivery route.
Penny didn’t succeed this time, but I’m sure she’ll come up with a new plan, like she’ll find a way to smear Gravy Train sauce on her tracking device so some dumb dog will eat it and swallow it, and she’ll be FREE! And I would get that Whistle thing for my dog, but since he spends 99.9% of his day napping and hates using his legs, that app will get about as much action as my Grindr app did (read: NONE!).
Pics: People Pets