Hot Slut Of The Day!

Nivea’s robot seagull who shits sunscreen on people at the beach….

Crackheads everywhere are going to apply for a job at Jung von Matt/Elbe, the German ad agency behind this shitty wreck of an ad, because it’s obvious that they’ve got massive amounts of crack smoke wafting out of their air conditioning vents. The ad tricks at Jung von Matt/Elbe butt burped out a commercial for Nivea’s “Care From The Air” campaign and it features a seagull drone who flies over beaches while shitting out a load of sunscreen on beachgoers. Some ad person who hates kids probably thought to themselves, “Hmm…how can I make a commercial where chirrun get shit on without it being totally illegal?” If Mad Men ended in 2016 with Don Draper watching that bird shit attack scene in High Anxiety while high on peyote, he would’ve come up with this ad for Nivea.

Reader Andrew, who sent this in, just had to remind me “seagulling,” which takes this horrifying levels of NO. And here’s the ad in all its robot seagull-pooping glory:

Hahaha, the joke’s on those kid’s, because that’s probably bird shit, for real.

Sir John Hegarty, who Adweek tells me is an advertising legend and was the jury president of the Titanium and Integrated Lions at Cannes this year, was not at all amused by this ad. Sir John called it the stupidest thing that has ever touched his eyes, and that’s only because he hasn’t yet seen my drunk ass reenact the “Drink your juice, Shelby!” scene from Steel Magnolias with my dog (my dog plays Shelby, of course):

“You should see it. It’s the most stupid thing I think I’ve seen in my whole life. I actually thought the Monty Python team had gotten together and entered it into [Cannes], to see if we would vote for it.”

And Nivea is going to have some serious explaining to do (in court) when a dumbass sues because they smeared seagull caca all over their kids thinking that shit would protect them from UV rays.