It was bad enough that The Legend of Tarzan’s not-right director vetoed Alexander Skarsgård swinging around the CGI jungle in a skimpy loincloth. We’ve now learned that there was a kissing scene between him and villain Christoph Waltz that was excised from the final product. Why not just have Tarzan rule the jungle in a parka, several petticoats, and a chastity belt?
The Playlist quotes director David Yates discussing a scene wherein Waltz (does he ever not play heavily accented inappropriate people?) kisses Eric Northman, former Sheriff of Area 5. While he’s unconscious. Wait – maybe not that sexy.
“We pared it back because it was almost too much. It was this really odd, odd moment when Christoph kisses him,” the director told The Times. “We loved it at the time. But early test audiences were perplexed by it and in the end it just felt too clever and overworked.”
I don’t know what’s so odd about wanting to kiss Alexander Skarsgård. Granted, Christoph Waltz smooching him while he’s unconscious might not be the homoerotic experience we all wish for Skarsgård. But that flick looks like it can use all the help it can get. They should have gone really primal with this mess and had ASKars running around nekkid like the apes that raised him. Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote a ridiculous-ass story, so really go with it. Minus the flinging of shit.
And of course test audiences were perplexed. Test audiences are always perplexed. I’m pretty sure test audiences aren’t actually human. They put some cattle to graze in front of the screen. When they low at something, some dipshit producer looks up from his coke tray and demands the scene be cut. Hollywood is the worst.
Here’s some pics of an overly dressed Alexander Skarsgård leaving the Groucho Club in London this week.
Pics: Warner Bros.,Splash