Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 3, 2016 / Posted by:

Erin Esurance!

While dragging the wine and bread-filled bloated bag of skin I call a body all around Paris yesterday, I saw some chick with short pink Tinkerbell-like hair and I don’t know why, but my brain processed the image of her and then spit out the memory of Erin Esurance.

Erin was an auto insurance agent by day and a sexy spy by night, and she was Esurance’s mascot for a moment. But in 2010, Erin probably anonymously wrote a piece for Salon titled “I Was Fired Because Horny Hard-Up Nerd Boys Couldn’t Stop Drawing Porn Of Me,” because Esurance shit canned her due to all of the cartoon porn starring her that covered the internet. I know, I’ve heard of tricks losing their jobs because they did porn. But losing your job because horny dudes drew you naked? The “morality clause” in Erin’s contract was no joke.

Wikipedia tells me that Esurance wanted more dude customers who were 18 to 24, so they created a big-tittied sexy mascot in heels. Erin looked like the FernGully fairy with a dye job and chichi implants. And when you put a big-tittied sexy mascot in heels in front of dudes, some of them are going to fap until their hand falls off and stitch their hand back onto their wrist so they can fap some more before drawing her ass naked. If you Google “Erin Esurance porn,” your eyes will be hit with plenty of pictures of Erin sexing a dude, Erin sexing a chick, Erin tied up and Erin getting it butt-style by some kind of alien. (Side note: “Getting it butt-style by an alien” sounds like a Craigslist ad from a Scientologist.) This is the tamest of tame fan art picture of Erin out there:

erinesurance

Esurance never said why they retired Erin, but CBS said at the time that they most likely got rid of her because of the porn. Poor Erin. It’s not her fault they drew her so sexy. But now I’m wondering if other insurance mascots have been given the porn treatment. Before I find the answer to that question, I need to check if my health insurance covers “mental health treatment to deal with being exposed to SUCIO images on the Internet” before I Google “Are the Aflac duck, The General, Flo and the Geico Gecko in cartoon porn?

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >