Hot Slut Of The Day!

OJ’s Cereal!

OJ’s Cereal sounds like a 90s cereal that was made up of sweetened oats in the shapes of White Broncos and black leather gloves, and contained a coupon for a discount on a murder charge legal consultation with Johnnie Cochran in every box. But OJ’s Cereal was a cereal that Kellogg’s put out in 1985. It was the perfect cereal for you sucio freaks out there who like to eat your cereal with orange juice. (If you did a study on how many psychotic murderers ate their cereal with orange juice, you’d probably find that the answer is ALL OF THEM. Only crazies do that!)

OJ’s Cereal was made with 10% real orange juice (which is 10% more than I’d guess) and it filled your body with all of the vitamin c you needed! OJ’s Cereal was supposed to be like an extra nutritious breakfast version of a Creamsicle or an Orange Julius, and that may sound like a good idea to those of us who believe that an Orange Julius is considered a healthy meal (it has fruit AND milk), but it stayed on the shelves, collecting dust. It was eventually discontinued a year after it came out.

OJ’s Cereal also had a really hot mascot named OJ Joe. OJ Joe was Jay Leno’s long-lost cattleman son who used a waist trainer long before those hos on Instagram did and whose spectacular camel toe action rivaled CoCo’s (see: picture above). OJ Joe’s job was to wrangle up the oranges and take them to the slaughterhouse where they were killed and butchered to make OJ’s Cereal!

But seriously, OJ’s Cereal was gone too soon. It was like eating a Creamsicle for breakfast without totally getting judged.