Archives: July 2016

Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 29, 2016 / Posted by:

Tim Kaine’s wave!

Ever since my eyes first captured Tim Kaine greeting the people, I’ve been meaning to pay tribute to his glorious butterfly fluttering wave. It was in full effect on the last night of the Democratic National Convention. The internet keeps saying that Tim Kaine IS your dad, but to me, Tim Kaine is your nice uncle. He’s the uncle who always called you “buddy,” wrote a Dr. Seuss quote on your graduation card and once got away from the grown-ups at a family party to watch Homeward Bound with the kids (but left when he started to get emotional). But back to his magnificent spirit fingers.


Birthday Sluts

July 29, 2016 / Posted by:

Tim Gunn (63)
Joey Essex (26)
Génesis Rodríguez (29)
Rachel Miner (36)
Danger Mouse (39)
Josh Radnor (42)
Stephen Dorff (43)
Wanya Morris (43)
Wil Wheaton (44)
Timothy Omundson (47)
Martina McBride (50)
Alexandra Paul (53)
Danielle Staub (54)
Cynthia Rowley (58)
Ken Burns (63)
Geddy Lee (63)
Patti Scialfa (63)
Leslie Easterbrook (67)
Tony Sirico (74)
David Warner (75)

Pic: WhoSay


Night Crumbs

July 28, 2016 / Posted by:

Cara Delawhatever told a story about how she, Uzo Udaba and Ruby Rose busted a ghost prank on Kesha and others during Taylor Swift’s all-star Fourth of July weekend party. So yeah, Taylor’s sleepovers are totally like 8th grade slumber parties, only the pair of panties that get frozen are usually made by La Perla – Lainey Gossip 

Maybe Ariana Grande Latte’s piece broke up with her because he wants to testify against her when she’s finally charged with terrorizing donuts! – Celebitchy

What in mom going to Spring Break in Panama City Beach circa 1989 HELL is Nicole Scherzinger wearing? – Egotastic!

Just when I think my standards can’t possibly get any lower, I look at a picture of Caroline Manzo’s kin, and think, yup, I’d let him all up into my donut hole – Reality Tea

I think I’d rather drink a gallon jug full of hot STD stew from the Jersey Shore hot tub than watch Snooki’s video again – Drunken Stepfather

If you’re a contestant on The Bachelor Australia and you get a rose but don’t want it, make it go away by eating it – Jezebel

Hilary Duff’s got another crazed stalker – The Superficial 

Oh, Stephen Colbert, don’t be silly! Donald Trump has never sucked Vladimir Putin’s dick. He’s too busy sticking his tongue up Putin’s pooter – Towleroad

Lot lizard elegance brought to you by Charlotte McKinneyIDLYITW

The people behind the Bad Moms premiere invited anti-vaxxer Kristin Calamari. I see what they did there! – Hollywood Tuna 

In slow pap day news, the paps papped Hailey BaldwinPopoholic

Are we sure this isn’t really a picture of the Supergirl and Superman action figures? – SOW

MTV Classic shouldn’t bother existing unless they bring back Just Say Julie reruns too! – HuffPo

That dude Kelly Sears Roebuck is bending over in front of is probably like, “Err, okay, but I’d rather have a tip in money form.”  – The Nip Slip 

One of Phaedra Parks’ ex-clients showed up to her office with a bomb – Starcasm

A few Republicans just found out that Bradley Cooper isn’t really an American sniper who was killed 3 years ago…. – Just Jared

Um, is this picture of Diane Kruger a vacation pic or a waist trainer ad? – Popsugar


Meanwhile, In The Heart-Shaped Love Bubble That Taylor And Tom Are Living In….

July 28, 2016 / Posted by:

Last night at a Drake show in Chicago, Kanye West gave his wife a gold star in Snatchchatting and said that nobody can talk shit about him anymore (we can and we will). As Kanye showed the people that delusion still powers his brain, his nemesis Taylor Swift was all the way in Santa Monica, CA having a romantic dinner with Tom Hiddleston at the chain restaurant Hillstone. Sources say (no they didn’t) that the dinner was so romantic that Tom only looked down once at the Countdown app on his phone to see how much longer he has on his contract with her. Okay, he may have also looked at it real quick while she texted her publicist to let the paps know that they were about to sashay out.

Don’t Hold Your Breath Waiting For Jennifer Garner To Take Ben Affleck Back

July 28, 2016 / Posted by:

The last time we checked in on the status of Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck’s not-quite-together/not-quite-divorced situation, sources claimed that she had such a wonderful time in Europe with her estranged husband and their kids while he shot Justice League. It was so wonderful that when she returned home, she refused to talk about those divorce papers that she hasn’t filed. It all sounded very romantic, like a tourism campaign aimed at estranged couples who want a really expensive band-aid for their marriage problems.

Several other sources have spoken out recently and they say that Ben and Jen’s time in Europe didn’t make them call up their travel agent and book a second honeymoon in Turks and Caicos, as InTouch would like you to believe. A source tells E! News that any stories about Jen and Ben getting back together are as bogus as some of the hairs on his head.

“There are no plans for a second honeymoon anywhere. They are 100 percent still separated and focused on co-parenting for the kids’ sake.”

Another source adds: “It is a fabricated story. They are not honeymooning, but they are just continuing along.

Jen and Ben have been separated for over a year, and since then it’s been constant back-and-forth updates from “sources.” One day a source will say that a candle is still flickering in Jen’s heart for Ben and every trip they take to the Brentwood farmer’s market is bringing them closer together. The next day a source will say Jen is merely tolerating Ben’s ass for the sake of their three kids. I don’t know who these sources are, but they should all apply for jobs writing original screenplays for the Hallmark Channel.

Pic: Splash

Open Post: Hosted By Tori Spelling After Getting Jumped By A Gang Of Doily Plant Hangers

July 28, 2016 / Posted by:

I guess one way for always-broke Tori Spelling to make ice cold Candy Spelling feel sorry for her and give her money is to go out in public wearing a beyond tragic ensemble made out of a dusty $2 tablecloth from a dead lady’s estate sale, a macrame wall hanging from The Salvation Army and vintage doily bib that was once worn by a Victorian baby. That outfit is so busted that not even Dean McDermott would fuck it behind Tori’s back.

For some weird reason, Tori Spelling is still invited to things and last night she and Dean showed up to a charity event called Raising The Bar To End Parkinson’s in Studio City, CA last night. If Tori Spelling really wants to end Parkinson’s, she has a funny way of showing it, because that dress is doing the opposite. It’s got me shaking my head. But seriously, I thought that one of the main reason for inviting someone to a charity event is so that they’d donate actual money. You know “money,” the thing that Tori and Dean reportedly don’t have. Tori and Dean probably “accidentally” left their wallets at home and then they pulled out a duffle bag and filled it with the floral centerpieces, which they later sold outside of a Conroy’s florist shop.

Then again, I would’ve never heard of the Raising The Bar To End Parkinson’s event if Tori didn’t show up wearing a giant lace dildo cozy. Tori is raised awareness, so she totally deserved those floral centerpieces.


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