Open Post: Hosted By A Hair-Pulling, Chair-Throwing Messy Brawl Over Chips & Salsa

June 30, 2016 / Posted by:

This takes “Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me” to brand new levels of full-blown fuckery!

Eater brings us this video of a messy tornado of buffoonery and ridiculousness that swept through El Paisano Mexican Restaurant in Dallas at 2:30 on Saturday morning. Isael Rojas, who shot the video, says that the brawl all started over a basket of chips and salsa. Hell hath no fury like a drunk mess whose chips and salsa get fucked with.

When the video starts, a group of chicks are spitting out fighting words at one another and that leads to some hair pulling, which leads to a bunch of bros trying to break them up, which leads to the bros going all-out crazy on each other. I’m going to take a wild guess and say that booze co-produced this fight, because well, it’s 2:30am at a taco place and it looks like some of those dudes are seeing double. They’re punching the air instead of each other. But in their defense, they’re punching that air hard!

Here’s the entire video and it has everything: dramatic screaming, high chair-throwing, slipping and sliding, and a quick getaway in a cartoon car. This video is best viewed on mute while blasting the Benny Hill theme song.

MySanAntonio says that nobody was arrested and no injuries were reported. That’s insane that nobody was arrested, because everybody who wasn’t involved in that busted down brawl should’ve joined together and citizen’s arrested all of them for fucking with their food. I’m sure they had to wait longer for it thanks to those crazies. It should be a federal crime to get between a trick and their post-bar nachos.

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