“Okay, but on the upside, I was voted ‘most’, which is sort of like saying ‘best’, right? You go girl, still the best! Looks like someone is treating themselves to a hand-squeezed imported Kabosu mimosa. I deserve it.”
April 2013 was a real roller coaster for Gwyneth Paltrow’s precious gluten-free ego. While one magazine pressed their lips firmly against her freshly-steamed butt hole and proclaimed her to be the World’s Most Beautiful Woman, another one was crowning her to be the Most Hated Celebrity. I guess Star magazine needed a break from staring at the best and worst beach bodies, because in April of 2013, they released a totally arbitrary list of the 20 Most Hated Celebrities. And coming in at the number one spot was everybody’s favorite actor-turned-professional lifestyle snob Gwyneth Paltrow.
Star never explained their rating system, but Goopy was apparently more hated than Lindsay Lohan, Kristen Stewart, Anne Hathaway, and Chris Brown. Gwyneth recently admitted during an interview with BBC News’ HARDtalk (via UsWeekly) that she was really shocked that she made the top of Star’s turd list:
“First of all, I was like, ‘I’m the most hated celebrity? More than, like, Chris Brown?’ What did I do?”
But just because a magazine once bestowed the title of “Most Hated” on Gwyneth Paltrow, she has no plans to change who is she is. Gwyneth Paltrow is an out-of-touch rich person, goddamn it, and no tabloid trash is going to change that!
“All I can do is be my authentic self. But I think there are things about me that make people draw conclusions. For example, there is the perception that I grew up very wealthy and that I was given, you know…that I was sort of raised with a silver spoon in my mouth, which inspires a lot of resentment.”
She then went on to once again attempt to convince us that Gwyneth Paltrow knows ~the struggle~ because her daddy stopped paying her bills when she dropped out of college to become an actress. Okay, Gwyneth? That’s the kind of shit that gets you a one-way ticket to the top of the list.
Even though Gwyneth Paltrow can sometimes be – to quote the immortal Jean-Ralphio Saperstein – “The Woooorst“, I have to agree with her on the whole Chris Brown thing. What in the hell does someone have to do to beat an extremely hateable asshole like Chris Brown in a “being hated” competition? Sure, Chris Brown has never tried to sell me a $15,000 gold dildo. On the other hand, Gwyneth Paltrow has never threatened violence against people who work for her. Unless Gwyneth runs some kind of skinny rich lady fight club behind her pilates studio for employees of Goop.com that I’m unaware of. But even then, I feel like Gwyneth Paltrow would be nice enough to let you opt out if you weren’t into fighting her. “Eh, that’s fine. I guess you can still help yourself to a complimentary activated charcoal water shot in the juice bar.”