Open Post: Hosted By Twinkie The Balloon-Popping Jack Russell

June 28, 2016 / Posted by:

My dog could probably break the world record for the Most Naps In One Day By A Chihuahua or the record for the Most Judgmental Side-Eyes Thrown By A Chihuahua At A Pathetic Human While He Spends His Saturday Night Binge-Watching House Hunters Renovation, but that’s probably it. If I put a ballon in front of him, the last thing he’d do is pop it. He’d either piss on it or hump it. Like dog, like human!

But if you put a ballon in front of Twinkie the Jack Russell, say goodbye to that inflated bitch, because that pooch will transform into Dr. Pimple Popper on meth and pop that trick fast. There’s a Guinness World Record for everything including the Fastest Time To Pop 100 Balloons By A Dog. The record holder used to be Cally the Wonderdog, but now it’s Twinkie. Cally popped 100 balloons in 41.67 seconds and Twinkie did it in 39.08 seconds. Watch the master balloon popper at work!

That video also doubles as a visual representation of what happens to your brain when you read Dlisted. The role of Dlisted is played by Twinkie and your brain cells are played by those balloons.

For some reason tricks invite me to baby showers and for some reason I go (I go for the cake). The next time I’m invited to one, I’m going to take Twinkie, because she and I will rule that stupid balloon popping game.

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