Nicolas Cage And Alice Kim Are Over

June 24, 2016 / Posted by:

“FINALLY! I got it!”, screamed someone, who back in 2004, bet money that then-40-year-old Nicolas Cage and his then-20-year-old bride Alice Kim would last a little under 12 years.

People says that back in January, Nicolas Cage and his third wife Alice Kim separated the same way he separated from reality eons ago. Neither of them have filed for divorce yet. Nicolas and Alice first met at an L.A. restaurant where she was working as a server. They got engaged two months later, and married at a ranch in Northern California in August 2004. Two years later, Alice birthed out their only kid together, a son, and he became a member of The Fucked-Up Celebrity Baby Name Club when they named him Kal-el Coppola Cage. Kal-el is 10 now.

These two have mostly been low-key, except for the time a drunken Nicolas Cage got put into handcuffs in New Orleans for pushing Alice during a fight in the street and for getting mouthy with the cops.

Nic Cage was married to Patricia Arquette for 5 years, was married to Lisa Marie Presley for about 5 minutes, and he made karate-kicking prince of goth Weston Cage with model Christina Fulton.

Many have said that Nicolas Cage is as broke as his hairline. I mean, he owed (and may still owe) millions to the IRS and he’s had to sell his English castle and many of his weird artifacts to pay them. So what is left for Alice?! The definition of “fuck my life” would be redefined if after 12 years of dealing with a throbbing rocket of crazy, Alice learned that all she’s going to get in the divorce settlement is the femur bone of King Tut’s makeup artist.

And well, now Nicolas Cage is free to be with his real soulmate Vince Neil.

Here’s Nic and Alice throughout the years:

Pics: Wenn.com

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