“On your left, is the French impressionist painting titled ‘Stunt Queens At A Concert’ by Monet’s ghost, 2016” – a tour guide at the Shameless PR Couples Hall of Fame and Museum.
Okay, it’s one thing to dance like a malfunctioning cymbal monkey next to Taylor Swift at the Met Gala. But busting out some awkward dad head bops at a Selena Gomez concert is another thing that does not need to happen ever. One week after their young adult romance book cover photo shoot came out in The Sun, Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston hugged on each other and danced together at her BFF Selena Gomez’s show in Nashville, TN last night. When Meat Loaf sings, “I would do anything for love,” (or in this case, “I would do anything for PR“) he meant anything BUT dance at a Selena Gomez concert.
Videos of ToTay dancing have popped up on Twitter and Snapchat, and I know he’s only 9 years older than her, but he looks like an uncomfortable suburban dad chaperone trying to look like a cool and hip dad in front of his daughter’s tween friends at a Selena Gomez concert. I mean, Selena Gomez!
Here’s one video and I know it’s dark, but when the light hits Tom’s face as he dad grooves to a fucking Selena Gomez song, I imagine him thinking to himself, “I really should’ve asked for a ‘no Selena Gomez concerts’ clause in our relationship contract.”
— Taylor Swift Updates (@TSwiftPR) June 22, 2016
And here’s another where it looks like Tay Tay is going, “Shit, shit, it’s that ‘Can’t Keep My Hands To Myself’ song! Tom, Tom, get your ass over here, we missed our cue and they’re filming us!”
— Taylor Swift Updates (@TSwiftLA) June 22, 2016
One source tells E! News that Tay Tay asked Tom to go to the Selena Gomez show with him, because she wanted him to meet members of her squad and thinks he’s the one:
“Taylor invited Tom to go. Tom always wants to please Taylor and show her that her friends matter. Taylor likes that about Tom.
Taylor was hesitant to get involved so quickly after Adam, but she felt that [Calvin Harris] was not giving her what she wanted for sometime so she was ready to move on towards the tail end of their relationship anyway. She felt like she was a little school girl with a huge crush. She loves the fact that Tom acts like such a mature man. She loves that he is older. She feels very safe and protected with him. The attraction is very strong.
Tom wants to be with Taylor. Taylor said she thinks he is the one, as odd and new as it sounds.”
That reads like something out of a 6th grader’s book report on a Nicholas Sparks novel.
So, it’s been a week and Tom Hiddleston has already given us a hilariously awkward couples photo shoot, a hilariously awkward chonies photo shoot and now he’s given us hilariously awkward dance moves at a Selena Gomez concert. (I’ll never get over Tom Hiddleston at a Selena Gomez concert.) What’s next? The paparazzi are going to “catch” Tom and Taylor nuzzling against each other’s faces while wearing matching “T Heart T” t-shirts as they push her cats in a stroller during a walk with her squad? Will the producers of the Bond movies give Tom the role already so this madness can end? Actually, can they wait a few weeks before doing that, because I really want to see pictures of Tom wearing a “T Heart T” t-shirt while pushing Taylor’s cats in a stroller.