Seen above inhaling the silicone-encrusted fart that finally escaped from in between Kim Kartrashian’s ass cheeks after hours of struggling, Taylor Swift was supposedly pissed when Kanye West claimed that she approved a lyric he wrote about her. In a track called “Famous” from Kanye’s latest album, The Life of Pablo, there’s a lyric that goes, “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex, I made that bitch famous.” Kanye claimed that Taylor was not only okay with the lyric, she came up with it and laughed at it. Taylor’s rep claimed that she never okay’d it and definitely didn’t come up with the idea. And at the Grammys, Taylor gave a “GIRL POWAH” speech that was obviously directed at her forever arch rival Kanye West. Well, now Kim is saying that Taylor should change her name to TayLIES, because she did approve that lyric and there’s video footage that proves it. Dun dun dun!
Kim did an interview with Caity Weaver of GQ, and after she asked Caity to feel her tit to see how soft it is and said in so many words that she wants to sit on Dubya’s face (she calls him a “cute little president“), she stood by Kanye by calling Taylor a liar. Kim echoed what Kanye said. She said that he and Taylor had an hour long conversation on the phone about the lyric. Like the fame whore family he married into, Kanye videotapes almost everything when he’s making an album and so footage of that conversation exists. Kim also says that several high-powered music people were in the room and heard the conversation too. Kim mouth farted this up into Caity Weaver’s ears:
“She totally approved that. She totally knew that that was coming out. She wanted to all of a sudden act like she didn’t. I swear, my husband gets so much shit for things [when] he really was doing proper protocol and even called to get it approved. What rapper would call a girl that he was rapping a line about to get approval?
Rick Rubin was there. So many respected people in the music business heard that [conversation] and knew. I mean, he’s called me a bitch in his songs. That’s just, like, what they say. I never once think, [gasping] ‘What a derogatory word! How dare he?’ Not in a million years. I don’t know why she just, you know, flipped all of a sudden.… It was funny because [on the call with Kanye, Taylor] said, ‘When I get on the Grammy red carpet, all the media is going to think that I’m so against this, and I’ll just laugh and say, ‘The joke’s on you, guys. I was in on it the whole time.’ And I’m like, wait, but [in] your Grammy speech, you completely dissed my husband just to play the victim again.”
While reading that, I totally pictured Kanye with his hand up Ventrilokwist Dummy Kim’s ass and moving her lips while saying those words for her. (“Kanye’s hand up somebody else’s ass? That’s a change.” – Amber Rose)
Kim claims that Taylor’s lawyers somehow found out that the conversation was recorded and demanded that the footage be destroyed! GQ asked Taylor’s rep for a statement, and they didn’t disappoint. This statement reads like Taylor herself wrote it. She’s on a roll this week. First she gives us those hilarious pictures with Tom Hiddleston, and now she gives us this hilarious denial:
“Taylor does not hold anything against Kim Kardashian as she recognizes the pressure Kim must be under and that she is only repeating what she has been told by Kanye West. However, that does not change the fact that much of what Kim is saying is incorrect. Kanye West and Taylor only spoke once on the phone while she was on vacation with her family in January of 2016 and they have never spoken since. Taylor has never denied that conversation took place. It was on that phone call that Kanye West also asked her to release the song on her Twitter account, which she declined to do. Kanye West never told Taylor he was going to use the term ‘that bitch’ in referencing her. A song cannot be approved if it was never heard. Kanye West never played the song for Taylor Swift. Taylor heard it for the first time when everyone else did and was humiliated. Kim Kardashian’s claim that Taylor and her team were aware of being recorded is not true, and Taylor cannot understand why Kanye West, and now Kim Kardashian, will not just leave her alone.”
After reading that, I totally pictured Taylor’s cat Olivia Benson screaming, “Meow meow meooooooooow!” That’s cat for “Leave Taylor alooooooooooone!”
Kim is a rubber fountain of lies and if she told me that I had herpes, I still wouldn’t believe her even if my mouth was covered in so many sores that it was too painful to open up my lips to call her a liar. But I sort of believe her. I believe that Taylor agreed to that lyric. I also believe that Taylor and Kanye agreed to keep their “feud” going until the end of time because it gives them both attention. And once again, I’m falling for it. Dammit!