Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 16, 2016 / Posted by:

Because we love a good old-fashioned filibuster around these parts, several of you sent in this Hot Slut of the Day suggestion: Senator Chris Murphy of Connecticut, who led an almost 15 hour-long filibuster about gun control laws yesterday! “Filibuster” is not to be confused with “Phil-a-buster,” the name of a 5-day long musical festival that features everything Phil Collins. (I wish that existed). “Filibuster” is also not to be confused with “Fill a Buster,” the title of my Craigslist casual encounters ad. Buster is my nickname for my b-hole. (Side note: Chris Murphy would make a perfect Darrin Stephens #3 if he was an actor in the 1970s and the producers of Bewitched needed to recast the role again.)

Everything I know about filibusters I learned in 2013 when then Texas Senator Wendy Davis won several gold medals in filibustering by fighting against the passing of a strict anti-abortion bill for 13 hours straight. Three months after Wendy’s 13 hour filibuster, Ted Cruz filibustered for a little over 21 hours about the Affordable Care Act. Yesterday, Democrat Chris Murphy took over the Senate floor at 11:21 a.m. and refused to leave until he got a sign that both sides can come together and do something, because enough is e-fucking-nough. Chris Murphy wants a vote on legislation that would let the government ban suspected terrorists from buying guns and he also wants to expand background checks.

40 senators tapped in and joined Chris Murphy during the filibuster which went on for 14 hours and 50 minutes. Since Chris Murphy was the leader of the filibuster, he had to stand at the desk the entire time. He couldn’t leave to piss, eat or snort Red Bull through a straw to stay awake. NBC News says that the filibuster finally ended early this morning when Republican Party leaders said, “Okay, okay, okay, fuck I want to go mimis” and agreed to allow a vote on two gun control measures.Chris Murphy’s filibuster is now the 9th longest since 1900.  After the filibuster ended, Chris Murphy tweeted this victory:

And I bet Chris Murphy tweeted that while sit peeing on the toilet as an assistant shoved several Wendy’s Double Stack cheeseburger covered with protein bar crumbs into his mouth. I hope he swallowed up 4 Frostys too, because he deserves it!

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