“Hamilton” Won All The Tonys Last Night!

Hamilton got a total of 16 Tony nominations, which made it the most nominated Broadway production in the history of everything. Because everyone knew that Hamilton would win the night, I felt like they should’ve just canceled the entire Tony ceremony and instead show live footage of a dump truck unloading thousands of trophies in front of the Richard Rogers Theater, where Hamilton plays. But after the heart-melting hell nightmare in Orlando, some of us needed to be temporarily distracted by jazz hands, sequins, over-the-top speeches from dramatic thi-turr people, Oprah’s glasses and raw yodeling. So thank my God, Bea Arthur, for the Tonys!

Tony host James Corden opened up the show with a message to the victims of the mass shooting in Orlando:

And then the Hamilton Appreciation Ceremony began. Hamilton won 11 Tonys total. It was only possible for their asses to win 13 awards, because they were nominated multiple times in a couple of categories. They won Best Musical, Best Score, Best Book, Best Actor in a Musical (Leslie Odom Jr.), Best Featured Actress in a Musical (Renee Elise Goldsberry), Best Featured Actor in a Musical (Daveed Diggs), Best Orchestrations, Best Direction of a Musical, Best Choreography, Best Costume Design of a Musical and Best Lighting Design of a Musical. Yes, Hamilton cleaned up like Holly Madison after a conveyer belt orgy in Hef’s room, but they didn’t break the record for the most wins. That still belongs to The Producers with 12 wins. For that reason, every Tony voter who voted against Hamilton will probably be banished from the Broadway and they won’t even be able to get a job as a Wednesday matinee usher at the least popular dinner theater in Poughkeepsie!

Several of the winners (including Frank Langella) last night, spoke about Orlando in their speeches, and when the godfather of Hamilton, Lin-Manuel Miranda, won the Tony for Best Original Score, he used his time in front of the mic to pay tribute to the victims and try to lift up spirits by reciting a sonnet:

I am so mad at him for that sonnet. Because I had successfully numbed my emotions with the sweet nectar and that sonnet made me feel things again. I should sue his ass for that!

So Hamilton won 11 awards and the Tony’s ratings were the highest in 15 years. That means it’ll become even more impossible to get a ticket to Hamilton. At this point, I’ll only be able to get a ticket to Hamilton in 2021 when the Woodland Hills Community Theater does a production of it. And I bet that when I get to the theater, I’ll find out that I didn’t buy a ticket to Hamilton Hamilton. I actually bought a ticket to Not That Hamilton: The Musical Story of the Life and Times of George Hamilton, Presented by Hawaiian Tropic Dark Tanning Oil.

Here’s pictures of the cast of Hamilton last night:

Pics: Wenn.com