The Baby Brother Tommy doll that was possessed by a Summer’s Eve bottle learned a really, really important lesson in Cleveland last night. Bitch learned that he should never try to fight a trick unless he’s got several of his big bad bodyguards around to do the beating for him, because he has the fighting skills of a Furby with a half-dead battery in it. The first rule of Toddler Fight Club for Justin Bieber is to not do the fighting himself, because it doesn’t end well.
TMZ says that the Biebs was in Cleveland for game 3 of the NBA Finals. And after the game, the Biebs got into a tussle with a bigger dude outside of his hotel at around 11pm. The Biebs and the unknown dude got into an argument, which led to the dude hitting the Biebs, which led to the Biebs hitting the dude, which led to the Biebs hitting the ground. It’s like watching my frail and delicate chihuahua taking on a wolf in the wild. That’s actually not fair to say. My dog would look tougher, even while wearing his little Dollywood t-shirt. And I guess “I’m getting on TMZ” is the new “WORLDSTAR!”
The fight was eventually broken up by Child Protective Services who filed abuse charges against the other dude for hitting a fetus. No, but the fight was broken up and Justin Chickenhawk kept puffing his chest like he was ready to go for round 2. The Biebs obviously lost that one as soon as his little My Buddy body hit the ground, but since his baby brains are run by delusion, he posted (and deleted) this today:
What the Biebs should’ve done is post a picture of the look on the other dude’s face when he rolled up with his adoptive daddy Usher. I bet the other dude’s face was covered with tears and fear after Daddy Usher knocked on his door and said, “You apologize to my son right now or I’m going to have a long talk with your parents, young man!”