Kate Upton Celebrated Her Birthday With Her Ass Out

Two years ago, big-boobed model Kate Upton said that her ass deserved some attention. Sadly, it’s nearly impossible to get people to pay attention to your moderately-sized ass when you’ve got the IMAX-sized asses of the Kalabasas Butt Kweens to compete with. Kate was clearly tired of waiting for people to lose interest in that double-stuffed sideshow and start paying attention to her ass. So last night she took matters into her own hands. Kate crammed herself into a bodysuit thong and slipped into some sheer star-spangled dress, and by god, she got her ass some attention. Congratulations, Kate!

Kate Upton doesn’t turn 24 until tomorrow, but she got a head start and celebrated her birthday last night in New York with her baseball player fiancé Justin Verlander. Either Kate had a couple birthday drinks in the Uber on the way over to the bar or she’s just feeling that cool breeze on her ass, but she looks like she’s having a great time. Which is insane to me, because her ass is probably all kinds of uncomfortable. As anyone who has ever worn a bodysuit knows, there are many snaps down there. And since she’s wearing a thong bodysuit, I can only imagine the dark, cramped crevices those snaps have found themselves trapped in. It must be like The Descent down there for them.

Not to mention that all that glitter and bedazzling on her dress looks scratchy and prickly as hell. No wonder she ended up with a hole right near her hole. If that was me, the ass of my dress would be covered in holes from me trying to pick random sequins and studs out of my crack.

Here’s more of Kate and Kate’s ass arriving at her birthday party last night, as well as Nick Jonas and Bella Hadid.

Pics: Splash