Open Post: Hosted By J.K. Simmons Looking Like Buff Santa
The next time J.K. Simmons gets his usual pepaw order of a heavy carton of caramel squares, he can tell the UPS driver that grandaddy’s got it and carry it into his house himself.
61-year-old J.K. is playing Commissioner Gordon in the Justice League movie and it looks like this ain’t your granny’s Commissioner Gordon. Or maybe it is, because I’m sure many a granny are reaching for the hardy candy-scented KY while looking at J.K. serving up some GILF hotness. Former marine turned actor/trainer Aaron Williamson posted a few pictures on his Instagram of J.K. Simmons’ working out a pair of bulging pepaw arms that are covered in more veins than Madge’s muscly clit. Those arms look like pantyhose stuffed with potatoes, dinner rolls and gummy worms.
Here’s another picture of J.K. making his yam-shaped muscles bigger. I wasn’t planning on working out anytime soon, but now I know I don’t need to since J.K. is getting enough gym time in for all of us.
After Buff Grandaddy J.K. finishes shooting Justice League, he can keep that body to do a movie where he plays Santa Claus who goes through a later-in-life crisis and dumps Mrs. Claus for a 20-something elf, trades in his reindeer for a red Corvette and gets a badass flaming candy cane armband tattoo.
And yes, yes I would. I would until one of us broke a hip and it’d probably be me.