Before today, if you had told me to make a list of the craziest possible confessions to come out of Bobby Brown, I honestly don’t know if I would have guessed that “I had sex with a ghost” would be on that list. “I once snorted coke off Mitzi Mozzarella’s animatronic ass in an abandoned Showbiz Pizza“, sure. But sex with a ghost? That’s a surprise.
According to Bobby Brown, he once had sex with a ghost. And the most shocking part of the story is that he says he wasn’t high out of his mind when it happened. Bobby recently sat down with 20/20 to talk about his memoir, Every Little Step. Obviously Bobby’s book gets into his drug use, as well as his relationship with Whitney Houston and their daughter Bobbi Kristina, which we’ll get to in a second. But he also talks about people he claims to have had sex with in his pre-Whitney years. Like with Janet Jackson. And Madonna. And a ghost.
Robin Roberts asks Bobby B if he actually humped around with Casper’s cousin. According to Bobby, yes, he did.
“A ghost, yeah. I moved into this house, I bought this mansion in Georgia. This was a really, really spooky place. But yes, one time I woke up, and yeah, a ghost. I was being mounted by a ghost. [Pauses] I wasn’t high. I wasn’t high at all.”
It all happens around the 5:41 mark.
(Note from Michael: If the ghost wasn’t Elvis, then Paz de la Huerta and I don’t want to hear it, Bobby!)
If there’s ever been an appropriate time to pull out a “Sure, Jan“, this is it. Of course I’m deeply skeptical that cracked-out mid-90s Bobby Brown actually put his penis in a ghost. However, if The X-Files has taught me anything, it’s that I shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the possibility of a ghost with a blatant disregard for consent. If only there was someone who could back his story up. Did any other members of New Edition stay at Bobby Brown’s haunted fuck house? You know, now that I think about it, Bell Biv DeVoe never specify that they’re singing about human woman in “Poison.” All we know is that she’s got a big butt and a smile. Unless someone can prove that all ghost hos have flat asses, I think we’ve got ourselves our first real piece of evidence.
As I mentioned above, Bobby’s interview with 20/20 wasn’t just about ghost sex; he also talked about his relationship with Whitney, and their relationship with drugs. But first, Whitney’s secret relationship with her best friend and assistant Robyn Crawford. Bobby alleges that Whitney was bisexual and that Robyn was more than just an assistant, which isn’t exactly new news. Bobby believes that if Whitney allowed herself to be out and proud with Robyn, she might still be alive today.
On to the drugs. Bobby claims that the first time he saw Whitney do drugs was right before their wedding when he walked in on her doing a line of coke. He tells Robin that “She did drugs, but drugs didn’t do her.” Bobby B maintains that he wasn’t responsible for Whitney’s drug use. He does, however, admit that he once hit Whitney and that they used to do drugs in the house with Bobbi Kristina. As for Bobbi Kristina, he says they “should have been better” for her, but is pretty confident Bobbi’s boyfriend Nick Gordon is the reason Bobbi Kristina is no longer with us. Towards the end of this clip, he also talks about Whitney’s legendary “crack is wack” moment with Diane Sawyer.
Well, that’s all very….depressing. Honestly, I sort of wish Bobby’s memoir was just stories about fucking ghosts. We all know Whitney’s life was a sad mess. He couldn’t write about removing doodie bubbles instead? I’m not asking for a comprehensive doodie bubble-removing manual or anything. Just a book that doesn’t include so many bummer stories about Whitney. I think Every Little Dook is the book I’d rather read.