Betsey Johnson Brought Ten Tons Of “It” To The CFDA Awards

June 7, 2016 / Posted by:

It was very nice of Betsey Johnson to remove her name from the nominees list, and therefore give people like Beyonce a fighting chance at taking home the CFDA’s Fashion Icon award. I’m assuming that’s what happened. Betsey Johnson has always been my favorite fashion weirdo. Even when I was very little and my knowledge of fashion was limited to skorts and whatever the look is called when you loop the bottom of a t-shirt through the neck hole, I knew that she was the definition of effortless, carefree WTF style. Effortless, because she always looks like she put in zero effort. Carefree, because I’m sure she’s free of cares when it comes to what anybody thinks about her. And WTF, because I still cannot figure out what the fuck is going on with those glue-in hair extension.

Betsey brought her carefree WTF style to the CFDA Awards last night. Betsey Johnson gave everyone “getting-her-groove-back grandma” mixed with Janice the Muppet and a side of boxed wine buzz. She’s on vacation from all her worries and troubles and the collection agency that won’t stop calling and demanding payment for that pesky overdue TJ Maxx credit card bill, and she doesn’t care who knows it! Betsey looks like she’s about to climb over the bar at her all-inclusive Mexican resort, grab a bottle of rum and a handful of limes, and smoker-bark over to her friends Buffy, Bambi, and Binky: “See you in the pool!” I want to be this version of Betsey Johnson when I grow up.

Of course, there always has to be a runner-up in the Pageant of Life, and I choose to give that honor to Selma Blair.

2016 CFDA Fashion Awards

Selma is wearing everything; pants, gown, formal jacket, vest. It’s very haute couture Victor/Victoria. At least that’s what I keep telling myself. Anything to delude me from the fact that her ensemble looks exactly like every piece of clothing I have ever tried to sew on my own. “There’s no front to this dress and for some reason it has pant legs. Yeah, that seems right. This project was in no way a giant waste of time and fabric.

Here’s more fashion from the CFDA Awards last night.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

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