At this point, it’s looking pretty clear that the ear of TMZ is permanently stitched to the mouth of Team Depp (personally, I’m Team L.A. Looks and that “joke” will only make sense to you disciples of 80s hair beauty). And it’s also looking pretty clear that the ear of People is permanently stitched to the mouth of Team Amber Heard. Whenever People posts something that makes Amber Heard look like she’s telling the truth, TMZ stamps “LIES” onto that claim by posting something that claims otherwise. Case in point: People posted alleged texts between Amber and Johnny Depp’s assistant. The texts backed-up her claim that she was abused regularly by Johnny during their relationship. TMZ then posted quotes from Johnny’s assistant, claiming that the texts were faked or doctored. People then pulled the, “oh no you don’t, bitch,” switch and brought out a signed statement from a computer forensic specialist who declared that after viewing the texts, he can confirm that they weren’t fucked with in any way. It’s the battle of receipts, and this is obviously going to end with Harvey Levin and the editors of People wrestling in a pool of lukewarm oil.
TMZ also continued to bat for Team Depp by posting two new stories that are supposed to make people put the words “Amber Heard’s claims” on a list of Things That Make You Go Hmmm. Yesterday, TMZ said that two concierges and a resident at the Downtown L.A. apartment building where Amber and Johnny live didn’t see any bruises on her face 2 days after he allegedly threw an iPhone at her. The resident claims that Amber was SANS FARDS and her complexion was so easy, breeze and beautiful that they were about to compliment her on it. And today, TMZ pulled out documents from 2009 that show that Amber was arrested for allegedly getting violent with her then-girlfriend Tasya van Ree.
TMZ says that documents show that at the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport on September 14, 2009, Amber was arrested and was later booked on misdemeanor domestic violence. Tasya accused Amber of grabbing and hitting her arm. The next day, Amber showed up in court where prosecutors said that they weren’t going to pursue the case, because she and Tasya live in California. But the judge did tell Amber that she could face charges if prosecutors decided to file within the 2-year statute of limitations. They obviously never did.
Yeah, Amber could be a mess, but that doesn’t mean that Johnny didn’t abuse her. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. But well, now I have a feeling that People is going to pull out all of their magnifying glasses to get more receipts, and they’re going to go back and forth with TMZ until TMZ eventually posts an interview with Amber’s 3rd grade classmate who claims that she once told him that his scarf was stupid and ugly. See, Amber has long been known as a scarf hater!
And here’s pictures from last night’s Hollywood Vampires’ show in Bucharest where Johnny looked like a gassy and drunk hobo raccoon.