Who Is May’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

June 3, 2016 / Posted by:

The California Primary is this Tuesday, so everywhere I go, someone from someone’s side has asked my ass if I’m registered or if I’ve already voted and if not they’ll give me their first born if I vote for (enter Sanders’ or Clinton’s name here). The next time a volunteer asks me that, I’m going to ask them if they’ve voted for a much more important race: Hot Slut of May!

May’s Hot Slut of the Month contest is a battle between two 80s icons, the real star of the Met Gala and a memorable whiner (not Kanye). I say this every single time, but since many of us have the memory of a goldfish with amnesia, I’ll say it again. The first three HSOTM finalists got the most Facebook likes for the month, and the last one is a wild card picked by me. Your choices are:

João Paulo – The blogger from Brazil who showed the hos of the Met Gala how it’s really done by recreating their looks with household stuff.

Zeus – The cry baby Siberian Husky who loves playing in water so much that he will lose his shit if you deny him bath time.

Day-To-Night Barbie – The Barbie who showed you girls that you can do anything like easily taking your look from bubblegum pink business woman glamour to disco princess glamour.

Shannon – The International Queen of Freestyle who blessed our ears with classics like “Let The Music Play” and “Give Me Tonight.

Voting is below and the winning HSOTM will be announced next Friday. If you’re a citizen of California and haven’t decided who you’re voting for, feel free to write in one of the Hot Sluts above on your ballot this Tuesday.


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