Heidi Fleiss’ Little Book Of Clients Has Been Exposed!!!!!! (Maybe)

In news that’d turn your world upside down if the year was 1993 (it still wouldn’t), Radar claims they have gotten a hold of Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss’ little red Gucci planner from over 20 years ago and in it are the names of some of the rich dudes who may have leased high-class coochie from her back in the day. Okay, Radar didn’t exactly get a hold of it. They say they saw pages from it through various sources. So that means that either their sources took pictures of it or Radar has the power to possess a source’s body. It’s definitely the second one.

One of the sources tell Radar when the full list of names and the kinky shit they’re into comes out, it’s going to send a shock of wave “SANTO DIOS!” through the planet. The world as we know it will never be the same again!

“It is beyond shocking! When the full list of these names get around, it’s going to cause a sensation — as well as the beginning of the end for many a celebrity’s career!”

If you’re at work, you should get some duct tape and tape down your clothes to your body, because reading this shocking list of names will cause your pants to rip off of you and that will just be embarrassing. Radar also wants to make it clear that just because these names were in Heidi’s book, doesn’t mean they used her poon-renting services.  I’m not going to include Charlie Sheen’s name, because DUH. Get ready to fall out of yourself:

Johnny Depp!
Billy Idol!
Robert Shapiro!
George Lucas!
Nicolas Cage!
Sean Penn!
Robert Evans!
Jack Nicholson!
Mick Jagger!
Hugh Hefner!
An 80s’ Brat Packer who loved to suck on sweaty toes!

I know, Johnny Depp, Hugh Hefner and Sean Penn’s reputations have been as pristine as a virgin unicorn’s vagine up until this point. Finding out that they paid for a hooker decades ago will definitely destroy them. RIP their careers! But really, what I want to see is the notes of what these johns were into. Like, did George Lucas make his hooker wear a Chewbacca mask (that Chewbacca mom video is his porn)? Did Nicolas Cage make his hooker peg him with an Ice Age era dildo that was found in a cave in Germany and sold at auction for $650,000? No, I bet Nicolas Cage is into some really kinky S&M shit like making his hooker cuddle with him while watching Ghost Rider.

Pics: Wenn.com