The last time we checked in on Ben Affleck’s heart, it was still beating for his sort-of estranged wife Jennifer Garner. Sadly, Ben’s heart has to compete with Ben’s dick, and it sounds like his dick wanted some blonde strange recently. According to the Miami Herald (via Lainey Gossip), a Miami Uber driver claims he picked up Ben Affleck and a young blonde woman on Sunday. Ben and Blondie were going from The Standard hotel to the Miami International Airport, and you’d think that a Ben who just left a hotel with a young blonde would be in a good mood, but yeah, no. He wasn’t.
The Uber driver, who swears that it was Ben Affleck, claims that Ben was “surly” and it was pretty obvious the two had been arguing. As for if it actually was Ben Affleck and not just some grouchy dude in a dirtbag beard, a source at The Standard confirms that he was there, but that he was using an alias and his visit was “very on the down low.” Now that I look at that picture above, it does look a little like Jennifer Garner is making a face that says she regrets ever showing Ben Affleck how to download the Uber app onto his phone.
I have no idea why Ben was in Miami or what he was doing with some random blonde. Well, actually – I think I can guess what he was doing with the blonde. I also have no idea what they were arguing about when they got in that Uber, or if it even happened at all. For now, let’s just assume it did, and it was because Ben wouldn’t fork over the $500 to upgrade her ticket from coach to first class. “Excuse me? The Nanny gets a Lexus, and I get an aisle seat back in row 36? That’s right beside the toilet. My hair is going to smell like mile-high shit. Fuck you, Reindeer Games.”