Dramatically throw a black lace mourning scarf around your neck, because Amber Heard is done with being married to Johnny Depp after only 15 months. TMZ says that Amber filed papers on Monday to legally quit Johnny’s ass, and she did it just days after his mom died. January Jones is about to pass her ice cold queen crown to Amber Heard.
Entertainment Tonight says that Johnny’s mother, Betty Sue Palmer, died on May 20 in Los Angeles after being sick for a while. She was 81. Johnny and his mom were apparently really close. TMZ says that in the divorce documents Amber filed, she lists May 22 as the day they broke up for good. Amber says that “irreconcilable differences” is the reason why she wants to become Johnny Depp’s second ex-wife.
Like most of us, Johnny must have thought that this blessed union with Amber was going to last until eternity, because they didn’t sign a prenup. Amber wants spousal support, because duh. If you married someone who brings in millions of dollars yearly and they didn’t make you sign a prenup, you have to try to get a piece of the pie or you won’t be able to leave your house without getting covered in spit from other gold diggers who are sickened by you.
Because of the whole “no prenup” thing and the rumors about how their marriage was eating shit only six seconds after it began, this could get messier than the dental bib that Johnny wears during his visit to the dentist every 15 years. (UPDATE: TMZ says that Johnny has already filed his response and wants the court to trash Amber’s spousal support request.)
It must have been a really hard decision for Amber to make, because now that she’s not with Johnny Depp, she’s going to get less chances to throw down her pose game in front of a sea photographers at events. But then again, she’s a part of DC now and every one of those movies will have at least 50 premieres, so she’ll be fine. And really, after Amber and Johnny made that masterpiece hostage video together, she probably figured that their marriage had peaked and they’d never create anything as magnificent as that together again.
The good news for Johnny is that now he, his true soulmate Barnaby Joyce and Boo & Pistol can be one big happy family, at last.