Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 24, 2016 / Posted by:

The fruit salad that Pee-wee Herman married on Pee-wee’s Playhouse!

Every single time someone says, “I just love this and that so much,” I either have to shove my only response back into the dinged-up, rusty file cabinet in my head, or I just let it go and spit out, “Well, then why don’t you fucking marry it?” Every now and again, I’ll say it to someone whose brain is also powered by TV shows from the 80s and 90s, and they’ll hit me back with, “I think I will!” It’s times like those when I wish I got ordained on the Internet and kept a tiny white veil in my pocket at all times, because I wish I could marry their asses.

On the “Pajama Party” episode of the second season of Pee-wee’s Playhouse, he took the “If you love it so much, why don’t you marry it joke?” to levels of legal matrimony by marrying that a bowl of fruit salad in a stunning ceremony. This was in the mid-80s when the idea of same-sex marriage happening was on par with the idea of Prince not outliving us all. Some of us growns now think that Pee-wee was making a political statement with that wedding and telling us chirrun to just be with who you love. But while doing journalistic research for this long-time-coming HSOTD, I found a quote that Paul Reubens gave to Rolling Stone in 2014. He said that he didn’t write anything to make a political statement. His goal was just to do funny shit for kids:

“I really love kids. I’m always knocked out by kids, how funny they are and what they appreciate. The greatest moments in the writing room were always when myself or someone else would come up with something that would make us say: This is going to make a 6-year-old fall off the couch. It was so much fun and so rewarding to do something where the goal was to just make kids laugh, entertain them and show them a world that embraces creativity and nonconformity.”

Lies! I refuse to believe that and I will forever believe that Pee-wee’s spouse, Fruit Salad Herman, was a major part of the marriage equality movement!

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