Justin Bieber Is Just Way Too Deep For Award Shows

“Are you there God? It’s me, your greatest creation-shit, straight to voicemail again, yo!”

With help from a bunch of dancers wearing what looks like hospital gowns designed by Yeezy, Justin Bieber performed on the Billboard Music Awards, and he also won Top Male Artist. (“Top? Blehehehehe,” laughed Usher.) But even though Justin Bieber got a brand, new shiny award, he left the Billboard Music Awards feeling all empty inside. Today, the Biebs sharted up a “Dear Diary” entry  on Instagram about award shows and it seems like he just realized 3 things that most of us have known forever:

1. Award shows are pretty meaningless and are mainly just fluffy entertainment for those of us who need a reason to booze it up at home on a Sunday.
2. Many tricks in the audience at an awards show are there because they’re a camera whore. (And because there’s an open bar involved, but mostly because they’re a camera whore.)
3. Those of us who watch at home grade, judge and rate every performance.

The Biebs just figured this out and it has hit him hard. It’s as if he just found out that Santy Claus is not a real thing. (Note to The Biebs’ parents: Wait until next Christmas to tell him the truth about Santy. He’s already been through enough this year.) The Biebs “Deep Thoughts” message is after the cut, and he pasted it under a picture of the Rock of Cashel Castle, because again, he deep.

I don't know about these award shows.. No disrespect to anybody at any of the shows or the people running it. Nothing but love for you guys and your support. But I don't feel good when I'm there nor after. I try to think of it as a celebration but can't help feeling like people are rating and grading my performance. A lot of people in the audience there to be seem worried about how much camera time they will get or who they can network with. When I'm doing a regular show I feel they are there for the right reasons and to strictly have a good time! But these award shows seem so hollow. I get the premise is to award people for their accomplishments, but is it really? Because when I look in the audience I see a bunch of fake smiles so that when the camera hits them they look happy. Sure there are people truly proud of others so I don't want to knock them I'm just looking at the vast majority. I just think to myself if I'm living my purpose I want the reward to be fulfillment. I'm getting awarded for the things that I'm doing and not for who I am which is understandable I know it would probably be hard to calculate and award someone's spirit lol. But When I do get these awards the temptation of putting my worth in what I do is so hard to fight!!!I am privileged and honored to be recognized by my peers in but in these settings I can't feel the recognition. There's an authenticity missing that I crave! And I wonder does anybody else.. Sorry not sorry about grammar it's not my strong point

A photo posted by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on May 23, 2016 at 8:42am PDT

Damn, Justin Bieber’s new strain has got him feeling things. He hates his fans and now he hates award shows.

I get that the Biebs is all spiritual now, but damn. All of that over the fucking Billbored Music Awards? He is acting like it’s the Nobel Prize Awards ceremony. The majority of award shows are just silly events where famous tricks get to wear fancy clothes and jack each other off and we get to make fun of them at home. It’s not that serious. But since award shows are really dimming the Biebs’ vibe, he should decline the next invitation he gets to one and instead spend his night reading Maya Angelou poems to his squirrel friends. And you know, reading Maya Angelou poems to a squirrel friend sounds more entertaining than sitting in the audience at a 3-hour awards show.

Pic: Getty