My weekday partner in pop culture-spreading ridiculousness, Allison, is out today, because it’s a holiday in her native land of Canada and she’s spending the day grilling moose burgers and maple leaf fries while guzzling Crush Soda Mousse-tinis. Since it’s a holiday in Canada, let’s start today with a post about the country’s greatest gift to da world (next to Victor Garber and Sandra Rinomato, of course) Celine Dion!!!
In between BritBot giving us “sedated Erika Jayne robot” and Madge earning a million PrinceSideEye.GIFs with her eardrum-murdering raw yodels at the Billboard Music Awards last night, Say-leen Dijon filled a million pairs of ears with sweet angel jizz when she sang out her cover of Queen’s “Da Show Must Go On.” Besides gently fucking our eardrums with the gorgeous musical notes that shot out of her nightingale mouth, Celine also accepted the Icon Award at the BBMAs. Those awards still look like alien dildos to me and I’m surprised that Tom Cruise hasn’t released a single, just so he can win one.
Celine’s 15-year-old son Rene-Charles surprised his mom by presenting her with the award, and she seemed genuinely surprised. I am forever a cynical bitch who thinks that everything that happens in an awards show is staged, choreographed and planned for months, so seeing what looked like a genuine and organic moment was hard for me to process. But it brought an awwww to my ice cold chest. Celine cried poutine gravy tears as she thanked her fans and her late husband/manager Renee Angelil. Here’s Celine’s performance and speech:
And yes, Ruh-Nay Charles is now a teenager who has the ability to grow hair on his face (stay away from him, Madge!). The next time I go to Denny’s, I’m going to try to order off of the senior citizen’s menu and if the server throws me a look that says, “nice try, bitch,” I’m going to pull up these pictures of Ruh-Nay Charles and say, “I remember when Rene-Charles was a baby and this is what he looks like now.” Boom. Instant senior discount!