Unless Hollywood is announcing that they’re finally making a feature-length film adaptation of Out of This World, I don’t have much interest in casting news regarding movies about teens with super powers. However, I cared deeply when I learned last month that Michael Keaton might have lost out on the role of the villain in the latest Spider-Man reboot because they only had enough money in the budget for Robert Downey Jr. How rude of Hollywood to pinch their pennies and deny us the image of Michael Keaton slipping his sexy middle-aged dad body into some tight leather villain business. I don’t know for sure that his costume would have been tight and made of leather, but why not? I think we can all agree that tight leather is a good look no matter what the occasion.
Well, maybe Hollywood heard the wails of myself and the small handful of creeps who also think Michael Keaton was robbed of a job, or maybe they just asked the bank for more money, because sources have confirmed to Deadline that Michael Keaton got that role in Spider-Man: Homecoming. Michael Keaton’s first meeting with Marvel didn’t make it past the offer stage. But clearly there weren’t any other actors that made their hearts flutter like Keaton did, so they came back to him and entered final negotiations this morning. And according to Deadline’s sources, that’s when it was decided Michael Keaton would play a character called The Vulture.
The Vulture is Spider-Man’s first real villain. He’s an older bald dude who sort of looks like a young Mr. Burns and dresses like a bird. Maybe that’s what sealed the deal for Marvel; Michael Keaton comes with his own bird costume!
I’m really glad Michael Keaton held out for those Marvel dollars and didn’t jump at whatever paltry number they offered him the first time. Marvel’s Captain America: Civil War has made almost $1 billion so far. I really hope he negotiated for some crazy expensive shit. “I want to start every morning with a Lipitor and dinosaur egg omelette and end every night with a caviar-filled jacuzzi. And I need to be carried to and from my trailer by Chris Evans dressed as Captain America. I’ve seen those recent box office numbers, so don’t tell me you can’t make it happen.”