Hot Slut Of The Day!

The “erotic eggplant” that is up for sale on the New Zealand auction site Trade Me!

#EggplantFriday is back thanks to this phallic ass eggplant that is bringing in the bids on Trade Me. As The New Zealand Herald (via Mashable) points out, a Trade Me user is auctioning off this eggplant that looks like a peen to those of us whose brains are programmed to see everything as a peen. The auction went up last weekend and it ends Saturday (which is today in New Zealand). So far it’s got 29 bids and is at NZ$115. The eggplant peen pusher tells the Herald that his dad found it growing in their garden and at first, they thought it would be funny to sell it online. But then they decided to turn that joke into some money for charity. One of their family friends recently died of prostate cancer, so they chose to donate the money they make from the auction to the New Zealand Prostate Cancer Foundation. It also made sense to them since the eggplant is shaped like a dick. via the Herald:

“It was a happy coincidence that the eggplant had that shape,” he added.

He said the 10cm eggplant is stored in the family’s refrigerator at the moment and seemed to be holding up pretty well.

Goopy Paltrow should really buy that thing, mark it up 1000% and sell it in GOOP’s sex toy section as a dildo. It’s perfect for them! It’s organic. It’s vegan. And you have to get into all sorts of yoga positions to fuck it.

I don’t only see peen when I look at that eggplant. Sure, I see a really crooked hard one and also a really soft one that’s all melancholy-like because it just listened to an Adele song. But I also see Gonzo’s nose and an anteater gently drinking water from a pond. With that being said, would I hit it until we made eggplant parmesan together? I would answer that disgusting question, but I have to write a certain Trade Me seller to ask if he ships to the US.