Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 18, 2016 / Posted by:

Crying Baby Mario from Yoshi’s Island!

But your honor, I tore apart that drugstore, punched all the customers in the face, torched the place and then took a bat to all of the cars in the parking lot because the sound of that piece of shit Baby Mario crying is stuck in a crevice in my brain and I want it out!” is probably a defense that many criminal bitches used in court in the 90s and I bet it worked.

In Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island, which came out in 1995, you are Yoshi the dinosaur and you have to help Baby Mario save Baby Luigi who was kidnapped by King Koopa’s son. As you make your way through the land, you have to carry Baby Mario’s annoying, high-maintenance ass on your back and whenever you get hit by an enemy, he floats off in a bubble and you have to get him back in a certain amount of time or you lose a life. Every time Baby Mario falls off your back, he starts bitching and whining like Justin Bieber whenever his au pair doesn’t make the choo choo sound while feeding him a spoonful of banana and weed mash. Yoshi must have an endless supply of Xanax, because anybody else would bid adieu to that chillón and hop off to their dino cave to play Zelda in peace.

Someone, who really missed their calling of being a ruthless dictator since they know how to bring pain upon the people, created a weapon of mass nerve destruction in the form of a YouTube video of Baby Mario crying for 12 hours straight. This is probably what @twitter’s mentions sound like whenever they change shit:

You know, this video can also be used as fool-proof birth control. When a dude and a chick are bareback boning, they just have to play this video and as soon as he busts one, those sperm fish will swim right back into his dick slit as her ovaries pull down a storefront metal gate. At least Crying Baby Mario is good for something.

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >