Being a child of the 80s and 90s, I probably should keep up with the changes to Mark-Paul Gosselaar’s face, but I don’t. So when I saw these pictures of Zack Morris at yesterday’s Fox Upfronts, where he promoted the show Pitch, I thought that the photo agency mislabeled them and it was really Roger Bart with a couple of merkins glued to his face. But it really is Zack Morris and I didn’t even know it was possible for him to grow actual hair on his face. Preppy got hairy! Back in the day, he looked like he fell out of the twink section of Grindr and now he looks like he fell out of the bear section.
Zack Morris today looks like an overworked stock broker who calls everyone “champ” and is known at the local strip club for drunkenly crying onto a stripper’s lap while complaining about how much he hates his wife and kids. What I’m saying is that I prefer my Zack Morris like this. I’d hit it and I wouldn’t even mind if he was on his brick phone the whole time.