And Now I Have The Mental Image Of Jennifer Lawrence And Robert De Niro Scissoring

May 16, 2016 / Posted by:

The GLAAD Media Awards were on Saturday, and as you can see, Robert De Niro got to take home an award. For those of you wondering “Does the G in GLAAD stand for geriatric straights?“, they were actually recognizing Robert De Niro with the Excellence in Media Award for a documentary he produced about his father, Robert De Niro Sr. (who was gay) called Remembering the Artist. De Niro got to pick who presented him with his award, so he picked America’s cool best friend from summer camp Jennifer Lawrence. I guess Jinx the Cat was busy?

JLaw reminded that she’s still the ~coolest~ by opening with a joke about De Niro having a lot in common with GLAAD because they’re both gay. A joke that she says everyone told her to trash, to which she replied “hell no“, because nobody censors the high-larious stand-up comedy stylings of JLaw. She then went on to say some nice stuff about how De Niro is basically a father figure to her and they have the kind of relationship where they meet for drinks and he gives her life advice. She also made a joke about how he has told her how much she reminds him of his 4-year-old daughter Helen. That makes sense; little kids have trouble walking without falling, and so does JLaw.

But let’s get to the scissoring part, shall we? Eventually De Niro came to collect his award, and he clapped back at Jennifer Lawrence’s gay joke with one of his own that went a little something like this:

“Thank you, Jen. If I were a lesbian, I’d be all over you. Being a father figure has its limitations.”

Um, sorry – what? He had me at lesbians, because who wouldn’t want to picture Robert De Niro getting his late-in-life on? But then he lost me at lesbians; was he implying that JLaw’s coochie only tumbles for other coochie? And then my brain checked out completely after he followed it up with the father figure limitations thing. Susan Sarandon is like “Don’t make me tell you how that sounds not-right, Bobby.

Here’s more of Robert De Niro at the GLAAD Media Awards on Saturday night with his wife. I’ve also included a bunch of other famous people who were there, like Laverne Cox, my personal lord and savior Tami Taylor, and Flaca from OITNB, who truly gave Mimi a run for her beaded boobies money.

Pics: Getty, Wenn.com

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