Since Holly Madison is peddling a new book called The Vegas Diaries, she is once again going on about how being a member of Hugh Hefner’s harem of rotating plastic blondes killed her inside and that she was constantly living in fear because of competition with the other hos. Holly’s face is on the cover of this week’s People under the words, “I Was Living in Fear,” and well, her arch rival Kendra Wilkinson had something to say about it. And thanks to Kendra, the walls of my nightmares will be covered with new images.
Kendra nearly slapped all of the plastic out of Holly’s face in three tweets. Kendra tweeted that Holly was Hef’s “clean up girl,” and no, she didn’t mean it in the Molly Maids kind of way. Kendra meant that Holly’s mouth was the wet vac that cleaned up Hef’s post-fuck mess. When Holly sniffs a carton of old milk, she probably sings “Memory” to herself. Oh, god, why?! The visuals! The visuals! Flames! Flames! Flames on the side of my face!
Now Holly is on cover of People mag sayin she lived in fear at the mansion. She wasn’t in fear with that dick in her ass for a paycheck
That bitch is in fear now knowing so many of us saw her doing some nasty shit. She’s embarrassed and in shame. She was the clean up girl
Hollys job was to get Hef hard again and clean him up with her mouth
Kendra eventually deleted those retina-burning sucio tweets and sort of apologized, but the damage (to our brains) had already been done. Holly responded by telling UsWeekly that Kendra “lives to demoralize and degrade” her and she wants no part of it. Kendra deleted those tweets, but pretty much repeated them when she explained herself to People:
“This is self-reflection of herself. I swear to God, she painted the guest house because she thought it was hers, she clearly said: ‘This my house, I’m getting married to Hugh Hefner and I’m going to have kids.’ And Hef didn’t want that. Next thing you know, eight years later she’s writing a book ’cause she’s pissed.
I can stand up to anything, you ask me any question and I can answer that clearly. I have admitted my faults. She can’t do that, ’cause she has a lot to hide. I have seen the nastiest shit with her. She is the freakiest freak in the bedroom. She doesn’t want me to say it – she wants to run from that. I don’t run from it.
She was the cleanup crew, and she’s embarrassed. If you’re going to live that kind of life, you’ve got to be open. I had sex with Hugh Hefner, that was who I was at that time. I’m not ashamed of it because I stand true to myself. She is just mad because she’s embarrassed. She’s embarrassed and she’s trying to cover up her embarrassment.”
I know that Kendra has the brains of dried fish shit, but I think she has the memory of dried fish shit too. Kendra is acting like she doesn’t remember that she too sucked jizz dust clouds out of Hef’s E.T. finger peen for relevancy and a check. I don’t know why Kendra is pointing at Holly like, “No, you’re the bigger dirty whore!” To paraphrase my favorite philosopher Cristal Connors: We’re all whores, darlin’. We take the cash, we cash the check, we clean up curdled cum balls off of an old rich man’s crotch.
But you know who is really paying the price in this fight? Those of us who just can’t help ourselves and must read about it. Now those visuals are forever burned into our innocent minds. I mean, how can I ever enjoy a bowl of tapioca pudding without thinking to myself, “This is probably what Holly had to clean up.” Damn them both!