True Love Is Dead, Part 583: Ozzy And Sharon Osbourne Split Up Again

May 8, 2016 / Posted by:

Get your mourning gear and prepare yourself for some possible wailing and tears. Make sure you have plenty of tissues, Meg Ryan movies and ice cream, because it might be a very sad and lonely time. Our friend, True Love, is possibly sitting in a car somewhere with the engine running in a locked garage. Sharon Osbourne and Ozzy Osbourne may be done, for the 186,795th time.

E! News broke the story and they’re making it out like it’s very mature and organized. Their source says that they agreed together that Ozzy should move his ass out and that the split has nothing to do with Ozzy’s falling off the wagon. The source says that Ozzy has been dry and sober for over 3 years. But…

The Mirror is reporting that Sharon has proof of Ozzy’s crotch worm meandering into a side piece and she’s not happy about it this time. The alleged side piece in question is a celebrity hairstylist named Michelle Pugh. Things apparently got real bad last week when Ozzy disappeared and Sharon thought he had gone on a booze and drugs bender. And a rep for Ozzy confirms that he’s not living with Sharon by saying, “At this time Ozzy is not at the marital home.

There have been a million stories of them breaking up, like when Ozzy took to Facebook to let people know he’d fallen off the wagon real bad but that he and Sharon were fine. They also managed to make it through the Ozzy fucking the nannies phase. These two have been married for 34 years, so maybe they’ll take a page out of Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito’s book. But my question is, since it seems like Sharon does EVERYTHING for Ozzy, how did he manage to screw a ho without her help? Maybe that’s the proof Sharon has. One day, she heard Ozzy scream from the other side of the house, “SSSHHHHAAAARRRRROOOOONNNN, come help me put me prick in Michelle’s muff!

Pic: Wenn

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